Men

I've been emailing my new friend Lisa. She was telling me about this rude man she encountered in a store in the Caribbean. I think I ran into this man's family member at the San Francisco Airport. Lisa and I were emailing about how to address and teach men etiquette - elegance. She even named it manettiquette.

So, she got me thinking about how to blog so men would be interested. There have been elegant men throughout history - Cary Grant for example and there are men that strive to achieve a persona like Mr. Grant. So, here we go.

It is obvious that chivalry is still alive, but it is taking a beating daily. The men that wish to achieve better are trying and there are websites to help them. Currently, I will keep my attention to womens' elegance. But we do need to address men and who to deal with 'thuggy' men.

The thing that Lisa and I have in common with our run-in's is that we didn't take it. We weren't victims to a verbal attack or their bulling behavior.

If Lisa wants she can add to the post, I will use my experience as the bases for this post.

As women we have a lot of power that we never use. Most men do like to be helpful, to protect, and be noticed for their effort.

When a man holds the door, he is not trying to subjugate you, he is being nice. Thank him.

When a man behaves badly, call him out.

In my situation this guy came thru the first class line into the TSA screening area. I had two women in front of me that really had no idea how to move thru the line in a timely fashion. I was annoyed but there wasn't anything I could do. The dude behind me thought he was better, faster, smarter then us women. He took his bag and plastic bin and walked to the front of the line to the xray machine - only to realize that there was no room for his stuff. So, he started walking back the line looking for an open space to put his stuff so he could get thru the line quicker. Well, he found 2 inched between myself and the lady in front of me. He literally tried to push my stuff back.

Now, this is where the elegant women must take control. I was being mistreated and had to defend myself. How I defended myself is important. I looked at that creature and said "Is there a problem?" I didn't yell or even raise my voice. The dude didn't like my tone - oh well. He mouthed off to me. Don't remember totally his comment. But, again I was being verbally assaulted. Again, defending myself with out raising my voice I said "Why are mouthing off to me you cut the line." He continued to say he wasn't saying anything to me in a tone that I wasn't using, which wasn't true. I say he as a moron at this point, and probably a women hater. So I just said to him "just drop it, just drop it". He was in the wrong even though he'll never figure that out. But my reaction to him 1. brought attention to his behavior, which will not change his behavior 2. made me happy that I wasn't treated as a carpet.

Women have a lot of power to control. Jane Austin realized that in her books. If a man uses profanity around you, in your normal tone state "Please don't swear" he continue you walk away. That simple.

The men that want to treat women like property or disrespect them because they think women are second class citizens have a place in this world and I hope it is not within 10 feet of myself.

DUH

That was my first response when I heard the news story.

Not only will your hair have an effect on your day and how you feel, but so will your underwear. DUH - it's meant to make you feel pretty, even if no one see's it. Taking care of yourself is important. How are you making yourself feel? Well, silk vs. a cotton sails makes a huge difference.

Plus, to even call it underwear explains that the originator of the store is either a man or a women with a clue.

Quick primer - underwear is what was hanging on the laundry line at your grandmothers. I dont wear underwear - I wear lingerie.

Calling lingerie underware is like saying my Louboutin heals, shoes.

My Test

I am having to practice what I preach - kinda. I always try to look for the best in a situation. Well, I am trying, trying very hard and well, still trying.

I travel a bit for work and I am San Jose for a meeting at my office. It is nice that my boss has brought all the travelers' together for a meeting for team building. But they selected the hotel that we were to stay in. I am very sure they are unaware of the ick factor of this hotel.

I stayed here 3 months or so ago and it has gone down hill since then. It has been bought out from being a Holiday Inn to some unknown brand.

How bad can it really be Astor? Hum.... I only have one bar of soap - One. Not one bar for my hands and a bath gel for the shower, just one bar of soap for my hands and for the morning shower.

My garden view is - of a parking lot!!! Now, how do I say this without offending certain people in our country, but a car in my yard has never been considered art for a garden, in my view. I know if I say anything I will get the comment that I have a balcony that is what the garden view is. But that's not a view that is an amenity, kinda. Remember its a parking lot - I might end up with carbon monoxide poisoning.

The room does have coffee maker - not that the coffee is even drinkable, oh the Seattlites and their snobby coffee. I have no idea what brand it is but it tastes like color water.

I have yet to even discuss the cleanliness of the room. HUM, when was it vacuumed. The tiles in the bathroom and the entrance way when was the last time they saw anything more abrasive then the bottom of a shoe. My white socks I am afraid will never be white again even with two washes in bleach.

My co-worker, he does have a view of the center courtyard. That is good especially since it is his first trip to San Jose.

I will not be staying at this hotel - if I ever have a choice in the matter. But for now I have to "endure" this hotel. A one star is just to nice to give this hotel. To place a complaint with this hotel will be useless. They obviously dont care for the guests only the money that they bring in. You know this is Silicon valley, I wouldn't have expect a trashy hotel in this area - but then again Silicon valley maybe everyone is just telecommuting and doing gotomeeting.com.

And to think the last hotel I was in was in Las Vegas at the Palazzo, yes it feels like from heaven to ($##.

Yes, I am tired so that will be a contributing factor to 'meanness". I had to turn the heat on and the noise and whining from the machine is the only thing louder and longer then my whining.

I have to go and get ready for the day because sitting here writing this, the smell of musty old carpet is getting to be to much.

Grammer

Enough is enough. This week has had to many errors in the news, by those who should know better.

Mrs. Edwards has passed, Prince Charles had his car attacked and most Christians believe this is the birth time of Jesus. What do the three of these news stories have in common? They show the lack of skill of the English language to those in the media. I am not a journalist, reporter or any such. I am only a blogger. My career depends on good communications - in fact most careers require good communication, but when your career is communications these errors are unacceptable.

We're talking about how to pluralize a word that ends in 's'.

The first, when written it is s' ie. Jesus' birth, Prince Charles' car, Elizabeth Edwards' funeral. Not," Jesuses", Prince "Charles's" or Mrs." Edwardss". Nor is it pronounced as the later. When you say Jesus' birth it is said Jesus birth. Prince Charles' car was attacked, stated as Prince Charles car was attacked. What is really unbelievable is that spell check knows that Jesuses is not the correct plural, so how are these reporters able to get copy out with that error?

I have seen this grammatical error in magazines also such as Architectural Digest (another reason I am not renewing my subscription).

How is it 1. that the writers are not schooled properly 2. where are the proofreaders?

My other huge issue with grammar is co-conspirator. Really?! Its takes two to conspire there is no co anything. You are just conspiring.

English is a living language, that doesn't mean you can make up your own rules and still look educated.

Money doesn't make you better

Another story from Vegas.

I usually get a sedan to take me to and from my hotel when I go to Vegas. This company has the best drivers, very nice, very professional and they actually are the least expensive.

This driver was exceptionally fun. He talked to us about some of the celebrities he had driven. I was surprised by some of his comments of who is cool and who isn't.

But one thing is for sure, just because you are paying someone for a service doesn't mean you can treat them as a lesser human being. In fact, just because you have money doesn't mean you are a better human then others with less money. At times I find it inversely proportional, the more money the sadder, less useful and less productive a human they are.

Money really seems to taint the thinking of some people and that is sad. If money has tainted you into thinking you are better then others, then there really is something so sad with you, something so lacking in your life.

Vegas and Frustration

I had a very interesting experience in La Perla in Las Vegas.

I had been looking for a bra set, wearing beautiful lingerie can make you feel wonderful and so feminine.

My experience at the sales counter started as far from wonderful as possible.

I didn't know what was going on, but when I was done selecting my lingerie, I went to pay only to find a women so totally frustrated she was no longer herself. She had turned into a diva. She was so mad because her gift was not exchangeable in the Las Vegas store. Something that corporate headquarters should fix. She was so frustrated which then fell onto everyone around her. The poor sales clerks were doing what they could which was not acceptable to this women. To top it off here I come into the picture. The sales protocol was to take care of the first customer. Since I was in the store before this women, I was to be taken care of before her. Well this just made her so incensed. She was fit to be tied.

The saleswomen apologized to me, I felt bad for her to deal with the frustrated women. Maybe she heard me say that to the saleswomen. I dont know what changed her attitude but she turned to me and apologized that this was not her normal behavior. I could tell she was simply frustrated. But what I was going to say to this women when I left was her diva behavior had soiled my experience.

Thankfully, this women saw she was acting beyond what she thought was good. She saw her bad behavior. We all need to remember that we also will get frustrated and will behave in a way beyond our character. It is what we do when we see ourselves and our bad, non-elegant behavior what we do with that. This women, as important as she is in her career, saw me as another human being, due the same respect she was demanding, and with grace fixed the situation.

To be honest when I heard her she was going to be an example on this blog as "what has our world come to", but she showed such grace and class, she hit this blog as an example of what happens to us all, we get caught up in the moment but how we handle our bad behavior, that makes elegant or average.

Las Vegas Strip

Yes, it has been a long time between posts. Please remember I have a new job and that will take my time.

Anyway I was in Las Vegas for business and Brooks came down for the week.

Boy do we have a lot to blog about our time on the strip. I am making sure to define that we were on the strip and this has nothing to do with Vegas natives. To be even more specific between THEhotel at Mandalay bay and the Palazzo.

There are just so many things to comment on, from the fake grass to the TSA agents that made it so easy for us to go thru security, to the sales snake at a store selling facial products ( oh yea he should get his own posting) , to the frustrated women at La Perla.

There will have to be multiple posts and I will need to bribe Brooks to post.