9 11 Never Forget

This is the third time I've written this post.

I've ruminated all week about what to post. My cousin working at the site and putting the dust from his boots into a Ziploc bag and taking it back to site because for him the dust meant some one's loved one? or How our world has changed?

Then it came to me, I needed something personal. The vow I made that day and how it directly relates to this blog.

That day was one of the most beautiful mornings I could remember. Ever since then a day that is even close to the beauty of that morning makes my stomach flip.

That day went from the most amazing morning, sitting on my patio enjoying the weather and my coffee, to frantically calling looking my firefighter cousin (he wasn't even in NYC that day).

As the days went on, the stories of the lives cut short, their dreams, the dreams of their families never to be realized. Within that week I made a vow. I would never take for granted my life, a day in my life, my family or friends. I would make my life mean something. I would find the beauty in each day. I would find the love and share the love. There was just to much hate in the world. Hate in our lives.

Truthfully, that vow, at times has created tension in my life. Trying to live up to that with the reality of the 'mundane' in everyday life. As the days go on I've have created a balance.

Beauty and Love, that is foundation of this blog. Finding the beauty each day, adding beauty each day. Loving yourself with your 'flaws' and sharing that love. We are so negative on ourselves and that translates to others.

The best way to commemorate those that never finished their journey, is for us to follow our journey with zeal and gusto. They have added an extra level of meaning to all of our lives.

Let's never take for granted anything that is amazing in life.

"...protection to the looks-challenged?"

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/28/opinion/sunday/ugly-you-may-have-a-case.html?_r=1&scp=5&sq=law+professor&st=nyt

I really could not believe this story was real. I figured some news service picked up on an old "joke" of Rush Limbaugh's.

My chin is now bruised from when it dropped and hit my desk when I found the URL.

There are some many things wrong with this story, so many.

The first is, what are we, animals? Have we not 'evolved' past this point? I guess according to scientist's the logical thinking brain is non-existent in the business world.
"Oh wait, this might not be a the best train of thought with the state of business currently." Anyway....

Secondly, beauty is subjective, very dependent on culture. Who's base line are you going to use? In reality most 'ugly' people can do a lot to make themselves appear average, if not delightful. Hollywood has gone both ways. TV shows to make the ugly to average look amazing, and in movies the actress is made to look ugly.

Thirdly, doesn't taking care of how you look hahave a bearing on how you look and are perceived? A confident women that is labeled by the "dudes" of this writer's ilk as average can have men's attention because she knows how to play up her positive and detract from the negative. She is confident, dresses to her body type and can hold an intelligent and enjoyable conversation. Compare that with the model that walks in, won't talk to people or can't hold a conversation, won't smile, is self absorbed and looks totally bored? The model will attract her like kind. You can paint up plain and ugly to amazing. But amazing looks can't be painted to smart.

Fourth, the only kind of beauty if physical?

Fifth, are my tax dollars really paying for this?

Lastly"", ...with the chance of obtaining extra pay and promotions amounting to $230,000...", they would allow themselves to be classified as ugly. NO, that is called GREED and having your self-worth tagged with a dollar amount. Plus, to make this law suit work the 'ugly' person would have to prove they were 'ugly' and someone in the company would have to admit that they are shallow and limited in their views to proceed with the law suit. No one is a winner at this point.

Yes, being good looking helps, to a point! I've watched interviews were the female architects were equally qualified and the physically prettier one was hired. She was no was no beauty to work with, though. I've also heard department heads say that certain engineers were not to go to clients because of how they looked. Funny the attractive ones were sent, messed up the job and cost the company money!
Maybe with those two anecdotes I actually prove the writers thesis and we are base line animals.

The last paragraph is very insightful: "You might reasonably disagree and argue for protecting all deserving groups. Either way, you shouldn’t be surprised to see the United States heading toward this new legal frontier". This is what we've dropped to? Labeling hence limiting people? Have these people not learned anything? People will achieve to the level you set for them.

If the writer himself is physically ugly or not, I find him hideous to be perpetrating this discussion on the wrong pathway.

20 things I would tell my teenage self

If only she would listen:

1. You can not please everyone, make everyone happy nor make everyone like you, DON'T even try.

2. Other people will have their own thoughts and views, you do not have to make these yours.

3. Learn to take care of yourself not only physically but emotionally.

4. You will work at jobs you hate and you will survive. Just make sure there is more to your life then your career.

5. The worst pain you feel right now will go away and even worse pain will come, Sorry that is life. But the good gets better and the pain becomes less .

6. Just because you value something doesn't mean anyone else will. Hold those things you value close.

7. Laugh, most things in life really are funny, at least to other people, or thru the window of time. So laugh now.

8. Enjoy life and dance often!

9. Find beauty everywhere and add to it.

10. Be nice. It's free and it makes you feel good.

11. You'll change and that is fine. What you want at 20 might not be what you want at 30 and when you achieve it at 35 you'll need something new

12. Play up the good and down play the bad - every women is beautiful it's if she knows it and takes care of it.

13. Work as hard on the inside as you do on the outside.

14. Walk! Don't run to the next journey. You don't want to arrive tired and you need to enjoy the scenery to grow as a person

15. Never stop growing, exploring or playing

16. Be able to be alone

17.Don't let anyone take your dignity by losing control of your emotions. You can get angry but not without thought.

18. Your are prettier than you think, but don't let that go to your head. Nothing can make you look uglier quicker than being haughty.

19. Money is only paper. You control it not the other way around. And it will NOT make you happy

20. Confidence makes any outfit - Fabulous

Extra: You're not perfect! but still pretty damn good. Go for it girl You know what's best for you so don't second guess!

Congress Vs. RHWoNY

Did you ever think that those two institutions would ever be compared?

Yesterday, I woke up to the news that American's credit rating had been downgraded from AAA to AA+. What? The budget was passed and the debt ceiling was raised. The reason, from what I heard from MSNBC, the rating was lowered because of the inability of those in the government to get thru this without all of the bickering. Lowering the rating because of those of in power acting like the women we see on the reunion of RHWoNY (Real Housewives of New York).

Sadly, I have to admit to watching, on demand, part two of the reunion. Sadly? Yes, I saw part one and it was like watching 15 year old girls fighting over the cute guy in class, and to think I went back for more. Did I want to see the train wreck? What does it say about me, going back for more? Did I want to see a kind resolution? Actually, I was hoping for a better outcome. Reflecting on the episode, I should have turned it off when my stomach started to churn, about half way thru.

What is so sad, you could simply replace the the women of RHWoNY with those in Congress. Put the Democrates on one side and the Republicans on the other side. The outcome would be the same.

To think these people are held up in our society and they seem to be unable to be civilized. The people in Congress are there to run the country and yet they are unable to even control their behavior. The women are held up for the money they have and the celebrity that they have been able to achieve thru the TV show, but money cant buy you....

Bravo, Andy Cohen I suggest you expand the fanchises to the Real Congressional Members of Washington DC (RCMoWDC). Why dont?

Both groups deny their actions, blame others, and call each other names. Sadly, RCMoWDC effects everyone in this country. RHWoNY effects their reputations and makes it look ok to act like children.

These two groups were and maybe still are held up as the 'elite' of this country. That is the problem. A title shouldn't given to you just because, you should be given the title for what you do (a nod to Thomas Jefferson and his desire for a meritocracy).

What have these two groups actually accomplished? How have they made this a better place to live?

The silver lining New York Times/CBS News poll show 82% of American's disapprove of how Congress is going their job. Sadly, Bravo gets it's highest rates on these reunion shows but thankfully we can laugh, roll our eyes and even turn the channel on the RHWoNYC.

Looking at them as examples we can learn a lot, a lot of how not to behave.

The return of style

This is the picture that warmed me to William and Kate. In our modern age, the monarchy seems antiquated. Royals in the last 10 years have kept a rather low profile and with the marriage of William and Kate and Albert and Charlene there has been a great amount of press.

The picture showed William and Kate as regular people. Not the protocol based behavior that is so familiar.

What I am most hopeful for now is that with all this attention on Kate that there will be a return to style. The outfits worn by the Duchess are classy and modern. She is covered but not matronly.

Yesterday, I found a fun website. http://www.duchessofcambridgestyle.com/
Great fun website to take a look if your looking for a classy fashion idea.

Jury of your peers

Yesterday, outrage over the verdict.Blame, anger, tears, disgust everywhere you went on the internet or TV.

People are upset that a child is dead without anyone being held accountable.

A jury of her peers. That is amusing, peers, from Merriam-Webster.com (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/peer) "one that is of equal standing with another : equal; especially : one belonging to the same societal group especially based on age, grade, or status" .

Not sure we don't need to change that word, peer. But think about this, people that push, shove and trample other people to get into the store on black Friday to get the best deals, these are my peers? Those that stood in line for a ticket to get into this trial, those that fought each other for their place in line to get the tickets, these are my peers? Those that watch a helpless girl get beaten by a group of people without calling the police, these are my peers? The people standing in front of the families house, watching as if this family were zoo creatures, these are my peers?The lawyers that were in the bar across the street jumping up and down over a victory that leaves a childs death unanswered, these are my peers?

People are now saying she'll make millions from book and movie deals, interviews and licensing of the images. You know what - she can only make those millions if we buy and if we watch. So dont! Let her pass into history without another word.

Sadly, those people probably are correct. People are obsessed and they will buy and these are my peers?

To be a member of a civilized society we must each be civilized.

Wimbledon - Tradition vs "fuddy duddy"

Watching the news this week you might have heard a story or two of Wimbledon.

Tradition is very important in English society, Wimbledon included. In the linked article there are two interesting paragraphs toward the end, indicating tradition is important but technology has been embraced.

Tradition and technology do not have to be mutually exclusive. They can compliment each other. We don't have to throw away tradition to be modern, incorporating the best from the past with the best of now. Tennis whites with ball following technology is a great example.

As for the press on the ladies tennis outfits. I don't have a problem with the outfits for personal experession, but at what cost to tradition? Then the question of, Why? What are you trying to prove? I think it's a good conversation of our modern society, the good of the one being more important then the many. This also applies to this crazy grunting trend. Trying to get into the mind of our opponent? Guess what, gig is up we all know the trick!

Let's not throw out tradition with out great consideration, once it's gone it is gone and is there something better replacing it?



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/tennis/wimbledon/8589772/Wimbledon-2011-grunting-tennis-players-are-spoiling-the-game.html

Change can be good

There are a lot of elegant women out there and I think it would be good to hear from them.

The comments settings of this blog have been enabled. This blog will be so much full with the input of elegant women.

Let's start talking.

Women in business

Why did I post this picture? This is one of my most favorite pictures. I took it at the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle. Look carefully, do you see the flowers on the drafting table? Yup, that is a female drafter in 1927!

What sparked this post? Morning Joe. Arianna Huffington was on and they were talking about Mika's new book. The best comment comes from Donny Deutsch. I have the link below. Start at 3:43 and listen to Donny.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036789/#43265193

Mr. Deutsch makes the comment that *gasp* men and women are different and when in the work place why not embrace the differences? Now, no one is saying to flirt or dress sexy but men and women are different.

There have been books upon books about women in business, feminism, women liberation etc.. There is no way I can cover this in one blog posting.

Women's liberation is not true liberation if we need to 'act' like men while in the office.

Here is another shocker, we are not all equal. Women's equality is a misnomer. All we should really want is equality in opportunity because as Mr. Deutsch said we are not equal. Women are not equal with each other nor are we equal to men. We are all individuals and we all have skills beyond the person beside us but that person beside us has skills we wont have or develop.

Being in a male dominated business, I found most of the issue came from women. For some unknown reason women are harder on other women then most men. Could it be other women make most women feel insecure, they are prettier, smarter, or got the promotion we thought was ours? Like I said earlier I cant conquer this topic in one blog post.

Just remember, being a women in the business world isn't a handicap!

How do you eat pizza?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2011/05/31/2011-05-31_sarah_palin_donald_trump_split_a_pepperoni_pizza_at_famous_famiglia_in_times_squ.html

Looking at this picture nothing looks really out of place. Two famous people eating pizza in NYC. Look closer - a scandal has erupted! A grave sin was committed.

Mr.Donald Trump, a NYC'er to the core, or so we thought, is eating his pizza, WITH A FORK! How will he ever live this scandal down? This was so horrible that Mr. Trump actually issued a statement.

I think this is just so funny. And in these gray times, when the only news we hear are politicians denigrating themselves and each others, mother's being charged with the death of the dear baby and the recession. By now, the only double dip I want to hear about is at the ice cream shop. So, this "story" just brought a smile.

In reality, I eat my pizza with a fork and knife and *gasp* I was born in NY - just the other side. Here is another *gasp*, they eat pizza in Italy with silverware (plastic ware).

When I saw the picture I figured, "Heck, why take a chance of getting pizza on your custom suit or who needs pizza cheese slapping them on the chin". In reality, Donald Trump couldn't get it right if he tried. If he ate the pizza like a NY'er you'd be all "Yuck, did he wash his hands?" or "That is just not classy". Oh well.

John Stewart was so funny. I thought his staff was going to need to call for medical attention by the time he was done with his tirade. I was laughing so hard watching Mr. Stewart I thought I might need medical attention - here is a link from the LA Times. Enjoy.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2011/06/about-late-last-night-jon-stewart-slams-donald-trump-for-eating-pizza-with-a-fork-video.html