Purses

We’ve all heard – “the devil is in the details”. This is true in so many situations. One of these situations would be women’s purses, especially in the work force.

This is so noticeable when watching the news and seeing women lawmakers or their staffers.

The picture above is of the new IMF president, Christine Lagarde, very polished, very finished, very feminine. She isn’t trying to look like a man.Nor is any element of her outfit screaming for attention.

Its must be some kind of blindness or style amnesia with some women. They spend all this money and time on their suits and shoes and maybe even the bag they are carrying but no one seems to look at the whole picture.

Under full disclosure, I don’t like slouchy bags. They are very popular now. The thing with a slouchy big bag is you end carrying the kitchen sink. Not only that but the bag looks casual, which in some situations is perfect. Slouchy bags and flip flops to me are in the same casual category. If I wouldn’t wear flip flops then why use my big oversided slouchy bag.

In my last job, I traveled a lot. A big bag was great. You carried you ipad (and every attachment that goes with it), pashmina, a snack, maybe flat shoes, everthing! Even taking the train to work I used a large bag, again ipad, lunch, high heals and my purse were all in that big bag. Why the purse? Because for business meetings and lunch meetings that last thing I wanted to have to do was find a place for the bag, worry about the bag, carry the bag. I had more important things to deal with.

I’ve been at a meeting where the women actually misses a call because she cant find her phone in her bag. The whole phone at the table thing has been covered in many blogs. What it does do is show that you are unorganized and maybe indecisive because you got everything in the world in your bag.

Consider what you do need at a business meeting – ipad, wallet, phone, business cards, maybe sunglasses. Yes, you’ll need some make up, some make up not your whole paint palette. A finish powder and lipstick maybe a brush. Nothing more than that. You primp before you leave and with good quality make up you’ll be fine for 8 hours!


It always amazes me to see women in the bathroom primping, primping, primping. Hair, make-up, hair again. But they neglect to see their shoes are scuffed or the heal is torn or the sole is lose. The never check to see if there is a VUwL (visible underware line) be it bra or panties or snags in the nylons. Then to top it off they have this bag that could carry their dog that it is self is scuffed with pen marks. If they spent 10% of the time primping to look below their cleavage they might see the whole picture.

Funny to put it this way, but would you carry such a bag to the opera? I hope not. Would you carry that same bag to the club? Again, I hope not. Why do you spend more time concerned how you look outside of work then going to work. You’re look really can become a detriment to you career. You’ll need the money to do the fun things.

And don’t you dare say “Oh the man will pay”. You take care of your needs.

My husband has a funny saying for me “She is high maintenance but she is self maintaining”. Yup I bought my Lady Dior bag, for business, not my understanding husband.

We talk about buying quality, but there are times that fashionable items can update an outfit that don’t have to cost so much since they are not classics. Enjoy your big bags, but like everything else, at the correct time.

Sale Season

This is the season for sales and shopping, expect for Jos. A. Bank.

Why would I be singling out one company? I cant take it anymore! Every week for months, in the morning while getting dressed, I would hear their ad “Buy one suit, get two free”, “Buy one item 50% off, next items 60% off, your third item 70% off”.

I remember when they had their first “Buy one suit get two free”. Men weren’t buying suits because of the recession and they had such an overwhelming response they didn’t have enough tailors.

Then it started, some brilliant marketing person had the idea “Well if we got that much response let’s do it again, every week”. Not at first, it was twice a year, then on every holiday, now it has become every week.

Now, I can not escape the ad’s even though I am no longer employed. I thought since I get up a little later, I wouldn't hear the ad, one of the bright spots of unemployment. No, now they are on prime time.

Brooks and I have had a few discussions about this. Brooks understand men hate to shop and the sale sounds great. Personally, I think they are simply cheapening their brand.

Last night, we both came up with two new great sale pitches.

ARRRGGG – even as I am writing this one of their commercials came on – oh everything in the store is 60% for 3 or more items, is anyone else confused?

Here are our marketing ideas -

Brooks: “Buy half a suit get the other half free” This includes the sock, shirt, belt and tie.
Astor: “We’ve lowered our prices so you get a great deal any day of the week”

Do you have ideas for a new marketing plan for JAB?

Fun read

http://www.npr.org/tablet/#story/?url=/2011/11/18/142174351/mrs-stambergs-relish-goes-to-washington

This was a great segment to listen to. I laughed thru mist of the interview, I'd hate to hear what other drivers were saying a the crazy laughing lady in the car beside them.

It will make a great read and maybe a new family tradition.

I think I'll try making this this weekend.

Pippa Middleton "'She's sweet but Pippa isn't wife material': What Alex Loudon's frightfully grand family say..."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2060844/Pippa-Middleton-dumped-Alex-Loudon-His-family-says-isnt-wife-material.html


When I heard this story on the Today show, I had to go looking for the article.

I might have bruised my jaw when it hit the floor from being so appalled!

When you read the article it is understandable that all of the celebrity that has been built up around her could be so off putting as to call it quits. Not many relationships have lasted in that kind of glare.

From the Today show the comment was made his family is a 'blue blood' and are discrete. Not sure what the family expected, their son was dating the sister-in-law to the future King of England. Well, her sister was dating the future King of England.

They obviously have royal connections without Pippa but I cannot help but think, she was good enough until the spot light, now she isn't discreet? Not her fault, they may have thought the red dress was to risque, I might agree, and didn't want the press but Pippa's personality is what I think is the issue. She is vivacious, fun with a zest for life. Other reports but Alex at the opposite end of the fun spectrum.

I am sure the family is super upset that their true feelings have been splashed all over the newspapers. Seems someone in their inner circle is less than discreet.

Then again, what does "frightfully grand" mean?

Pippa seems to be the least of their worries. Can someone say "damage control"?

I am confused, then again, I am not English, titled or a blue blood.

Rewarding Bad Behavior

Screaming, yelling, punching, kicking and getting falling down drunk, reality TV in a nutshell.

Yup, I’m a hater! I hate scrambling for my remote when something obnoxious, if not borderline criminal, comes up on my screen. I wouldn’t have people like this as my friends; I am certainly not inviting them into my home for 48 minutes each week.

I do watch reality TV or how else could I know what’s going, my life would be so empty. No, it wouldn’t; seriously, I do have other things in my life that really do matter(like finding a job).

So, why bother even writing the post.

Talking with most adults, they understand this behavior is unacceptable, and those perpetrating these actions are more court jesters than respected members of society. Here comes a hater comment, they are making a fabulous amount of money being fools. You have to ask yourself, what would I do for that kind of money? I also hope these people are not as foolish as they are being portrayed and have a good financial planner.

As adults, we have the skill set to look at this behavior and know it’s out of bounds. Children on the other had have not yet developed as a person, they may like these people as role models. They see this behavior as powerful, when we see it as sad.

As adults we do have a responsibility to younger people. Show them by your behavior what is acceptable, mannered, upstanding and hopefully fun and enjoyable. Give them a good in touch role model.

Reality TV isn’t going away but we have the power, called a remote.

New Start - Day 2

It's been a while since I've posted. It was difficult for me to find the balance of work and personal life.

The balance has been given to me. My job position was eliminated on Friday. A complete shock. But I couldn't find the balance. I couldn't find me in the job. As odd as that sounds. Even though people are saying "Its for the best". It still does not help the feeling:


It really does make you examine your life, your decisions. I've had to work hard to get where I am. I now am looking at why, why did I work so hard to get, nowhere. Right now I look at the jobs available and I start looking at myself. The last two jobs (both of which had my position eliminated in the last 3 years) really were not a fit. They were what I thought I wanted. I really thought I wanted to work in the corporate world. I was so happy to have landed a job in one of the largest firms in the world. When that job went away, I thought what I really liked to do. I liked teaching and I know this specific software. So when I saw this teaching job come up, I was excited. But as the months went along, the joy was quickly replaced with anxiety. I never did a good enough job. Not that I didn't do a good job but it was always stated "How could you do it better". After a few months of that, you really become demoralized.

Now, I have free time, all the time in the world. Yesterday, out went 10 resumes. Funny that hits my quota for 3 weeks with unemployment insurance. All 10 are in my field in which I am educated, but the question now is do I really want to stay in this field. That is the same question I asked a year and a half ago. I found the new job in 5 months, which I thought was great. I was kind of out of the field, into a new direction of teaching.

Now, I am left with the same question. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? The only answer is live my life!

You know I've done most of the things in my life to have people like me. What a fool! Now, dont get me wrong, it is nice to have friends, people liking you. But now for me its more important that I like myself, that I find a job that I can be myself and like the job. In the corporate world my personality is not taken positively, I think. I do my job, but I have a sense of humor to me. I find the humor in most things and I cant stand grandstanding and people hypocrisy's and office politics, I cant play that game. People who try to make themselves something they are not irritate me. Sadly, that is corporate. Make people think you are something you are not. I've seen people let go that are great workers but they were not friends with the boss. They weren't good schmoozers.

This job got to me. I tried so hard to fit. I stressed myself so much I ended up wearing a heart monitor and having an MRI. I remember laying the in MRI machine and I was so mad at myself to have let a job get me so stressed that I was 'killing' myself. Really, I thought I had had a heart attack, actually two before I went to the doctor and found out it was just me and my stress. I knew I needed to change something.

What irks me is I needed to change something. To have someone else make the decision for you is what has me the most angry. Someone else is playing with my life. Bosses have control over your livelihood, so maybe its about time I go back and take control and run my own business. I did it 4 years ago for the eight years prior and was successful with it, I can do it again.

This is only day 2, there are a lot of feeling to go through.

I now have time to got through an edit all of the posts I wrote while traveling to work or for work.

There is a schedule to my day. And today I think I will have a cup of coffee on the patio and enjoy the beautiful sun.

Be careful what you offer

I started this blog for various reasons. One was my own upbringing. I have one of those " aunts". She knew every etiquette rule but never understood love, compassion, or elegance. I remember setting the dinning room table for dinner with a ruler. Imagine the stress when we had company for dinner.

Well, she is at it again.

My mother is flying from Houston to Philadelphia. She has not seen her sister in four years. She told my mother that she could stay with my aunts oldest son. That was until three days before she was to fly out. Imagine this, there isn't room and to top it off there isn't any time to spend with her.

My aunt offered something that was not hers to offer, her son's house. That is being presumptuous. Not elegant. To compound the situation her son had other plans.

The part that makes my blood boil, they haven't seen my mother for four years and yet they can not make time to see her? It's not like they have not had a months notice that she was coming to visit.

I do not have a close family and I was so angry at my aunt for her behavior I was going to call her and give her a piece of my mind, hopefully a piece I didn't need. Thankfully a piece of my brain did work, I remembered I dont have her phone number.

I removed myself from her life years ago. I saw the kind of person she was. She was only ever interested in appearance. There didn't need to be substance if there was appearance. She would act like the family had money. Great meals when we had guests, living in the most prominent neighborhoods,wearing the best clothing, new cars, you get the point. It looked good from the outside,except when it was only the family. Dinner at her house(we were never guests) was canned soup and sandwiches, one piece of cheese, one slice of ham, half leaf of lettuce, I am not kidding. The clothing, secondhand (the only thing I learned that was beneficial).

This may read as a rant and it is, but it also has some great points about elegance.

I needed to remove the "ugly" from my life to find my elegance.

If you offer something to someone make sure your not overstepping your bounds. Never say " oh she doesn't care", they may very much care. Think of their feelings, at this point just be respectful and ask. Kids are really bad at this, "what ever my parents have is mine" they hit up the closet and the bank account.

My aunt overstepping her bounds inconveniencing her son and hurting her sister, sadly she wont care nor will she learn. My friends think it's funny, I'll call before stopping, I will ask if something fits their schedule. One friend got annoyed, " just stop in" but I explained I was being respectful and I had no desire to stop in just as she was getting out of the shower!

So this afternoon, the daughter was the friend with the "shoulder" to cry on. Yes I would love to call my aunt, but it would be futile. In your life there are people like that. There is a scripture in the bible that comes to mind, not casting your pearls before swine. People with animal behavior will not learn by your example, they arnt looking for it. They a fine with themselves it's the world that has a problem and self improvement is for the weak.

Elegance is refinement, ongoing refinement.

Vacation

It's been a long time since I posted. I was on vacation. Not that I haven't written anything, I just haven't edited them.

Vacation was long overdue. I haven't taken a vacation in three years. I've taken long weekends but nothing longer then three days.

That is one thing I do regret, for the good of my mental health, is not taking a vacation earlier. The world we live in does make it hard for some families to take the needed time away for the sake of clearing your mind. Either you are unemployed or so worried if you take a vacation your job will be on the line. But in hindsight taking the vacation can clear your mind, putting things into perspective.

It was a good time away. A time to look at my daily life from the outside. To make plans for my future.

The saddest thing is coming home and within a week the stress level is back to what it was before hand. I do have the memories to reflect on when things get over the top. The plans made now are the things that are directing my life or at least I try to have them lead my life. What is the most irritating is when my daily current life gets in the way of the life I am trying to create.

That is why my posts are still not edited, my current life is getting in the way of my planned life. Time to get in control, I'll let you know how that goes. Arn't we all dealing with that?

9 11 Never Forget

This is the third time I've written this post.

I've ruminated all week about what to post. My cousin working at the site and putting the dust from his boots into a Ziploc bag and taking it back to site because for him the dust meant some one's loved one? or How our world has changed?

Then it came to me, I needed something personal. The vow I made that day and how it directly relates to this blog.

That day was one of the most beautiful mornings I could remember. Ever since then a day that is even close to the beauty of that morning makes my stomach flip.

That day went from the most amazing morning, sitting on my patio enjoying the weather and my coffee, to frantically calling looking my firefighter cousin (he wasn't even in NYC that day).

As the days went on, the stories of the lives cut short, their dreams, the dreams of their families never to be realized. Within that week I made a vow. I would never take for granted my life, a day in my life, my family or friends. I would make my life mean something. I would find the beauty in each day. I would find the love and share the love. There was just to much hate in the world. Hate in our lives.

Truthfully, that vow, at times has created tension in my life. Trying to live up to that with the reality of the 'mundane' in everyday life. As the days go on I've have created a balance.

Beauty and Love, that is foundation of this blog. Finding the beauty each day, adding beauty each day. Loving yourself with your 'flaws' and sharing that love. We are so negative on ourselves and that translates to others.

The best way to commemorate those that never finished their journey, is for us to follow our journey with zeal and gusto. They have added an extra level of meaning to all of our lives.

Let's never take for granted anything that is amazing in life.

"...protection to the looks-challenged?"

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/28/opinion/sunday/ugly-you-may-have-a-case.html?_r=1&scp=5&sq=law+professor&st=nyt

I really could not believe this story was real. I figured some news service picked up on an old "joke" of Rush Limbaugh's.

My chin is now bruised from when it dropped and hit my desk when I found the URL.

There are some many things wrong with this story, so many.

The first is, what are we, animals? Have we not 'evolved' past this point? I guess according to scientist's the logical thinking brain is non-existent in the business world.
"Oh wait, this might not be a the best train of thought with the state of business currently." Anyway....

Secondly, beauty is subjective, very dependent on culture. Who's base line are you going to use? In reality most 'ugly' people can do a lot to make themselves appear average, if not delightful. Hollywood has gone both ways. TV shows to make the ugly to average look amazing, and in movies the actress is made to look ugly.

Thirdly, doesn't taking care of how you look hahave a bearing on how you look and are perceived? A confident women that is labeled by the "dudes" of this writer's ilk as average can have men's attention because she knows how to play up her positive and detract from the negative. She is confident, dresses to her body type and can hold an intelligent and enjoyable conversation. Compare that with the model that walks in, won't talk to people or can't hold a conversation, won't smile, is self absorbed and looks totally bored? The model will attract her like kind. You can paint up plain and ugly to amazing. But amazing looks can't be painted to smart.

Fourth, the only kind of beauty if physical?

Fifth, are my tax dollars really paying for this?

Lastly"", ...with the chance of obtaining extra pay and promotions amounting to $230,000...", they would allow themselves to be classified as ugly. NO, that is called GREED and having your self-worth tagged with a dollar amount. Plus, to make this law suit work the 'ugly' person would have to prove they were 'ugly' and someone in the company would have to admit that they are shallow and limited in their views to proceed with the law suit. No one is a winner at this point.

Yes, being good looking helps, to a point! I've watched interviews were the female architects were equally qualified and the physically prettier one was hired. She was no was no beauty to work with, though. I've also heard department heads say that certain engineers were not to go to clients because of how they looked. Funny the attractive ones were sent, messed up the job and cost the company money!
Maybe with those two anecdotes I actually prove the writers thesis and we are base line animals.

The last paragraph is very insightful: "You might reasonably disagree and argue for protecting all deserving groups. Either way, you shouldn’t be surprised to see the United States heading toward this new legal frontier". This is what we've dropped to? Labeling hence limiting people? Have these people not learned anything? People will achieve to the level you set for them.

If the writer himself is physically ugly or not, I find him hideous to be perpetrating this discussion on the wrong pathway.

20 things I would tell my teenage self

If only she would listen:

1. You can not please everyone, make everyone happy nor make everyone like you, DON'T even try.

2. Other people will have their own thoughts and views, you do not have to make these yours.

3. Learn to take care of yourself not only physically but emotionally.

4. You will work at jobs you hate and you will survive. Just make sure there is more to your life then your career.

5. The worst pain you feel right now will go away and even worse pain will come, Sorry that is life. But the good gets better and the pain becomes less .

6. Just because you value something doesn't mean anyone else will. Hold those things you value close.

7. Laugh, most things in life really are funny, at least to other people, or thru the window of time. So laugh now.

8. Enjoy life and dance often!

9. Find beauty everywhere and add to it.

10. Be nice. It's free and it makes you feel good.

11. You'll change and that is fine. What you want at 20 might not be what you want at 30 and when you achieve it at 35 you'll need something new

12. Play up the good and down play the bad - every women is beautiful it's if she knows it and takes care of it.

13. Work as hard on the inside as you do on the outside.

14. Walk! Don't run to the next journey. You don't want to arrive tired and you need to enjoy the scenery to grow as a person

15. Never stop growing, exploring or playing

16. Be able to be alone

17.Don't let anyone take your dignity by losing control of your emotions. You can get angry but not without thought.

18. Your are prettier than you think, but don't let that go to your head. Nothing can make you look uglier quicker than being haughty.

19. Money is only paper. You control it not the other way around. And it will NOT make you happy

20. Confidence makes any outfit - Fabulous

Extra: You're not perfect! but still pretty damn good. Go for it girl You know what's best for you so don't second guess!

Congress Vs. RHWoNY

Did you ever think that those two institutions would ever be compared?

Yesterday, I woke up to the news that American's credit rating had been downgraded from AAA to AA+. What? The budget was passed and the debt ceiling was raised. The reason, from what I heard from MSNBC, the rating was lowered because of the inability of those in the government to get thru this without all of the bickering. Lowering the rating because of those of in power acting like the women we see on the reunion of RHWoNY (Real Housewives of New York).

Sadly, I have to admit to watching, on demand, part two of the reunion. Sadly? Yes, I saw part one and it was like watching 15 year old girls fighting over the cute guy in class, and to think I went back for more. Did I want to see the train wreck? What does it say about me, going back for more? Did I want to see a kind resolution? Actually, I was hoping for a better outcome. Reflecting on the episode, I should have turned it off when my stomach started to churn, about half way thru.

What is so sad, you could simply replace the the women of RHWoNY with those in Congress. Put the Democrates on one side and the Republicans on the other side. The outcome would be the same.

To think these people are held up in our society and they seem to be unable to be civilized. The people in Congress are there to run the country and yet they are unable to even control their behavior. The women are held up for the money they have and the celebrity that they have been able to achieve thru the TV show, but money cant buy you....

Bravo, Andy Cohen I suggest you expand the fanchises to the Real Congressional Members of Washington DC (RCMoWDC). Why dont?

Both groups deny their actions, blame others, and call each other names. Sadly, RCMoWDC effects everyone in this country. RHWoNY effects their reputations and makes it look ok to act like children.

These two groups were and maybe still are held up as the 'elite' of this country. That is the problem. A title shouldn't given to you just because, you should be given the title for what you do (a nod to Thomas Jefferson and his desire for a meritocracy).

What have these two groups actually accomplished? How have they made this a better place to live?

The silver lining New York Times/CBS News poll show 82% of American's disapprove of how Congress is going their job. Sadly, Bravo gets it's highest rates on these reunion shows but thankfully we can laugh, roll our eyes and even turn the channel on the RHWoNYC.

Looking at them as examples we can learn a lot, a lot of how not to behave.

The return of style

This is the picture that warmed me to William and Kate. In our modern age, the monarchy seems antiquated. Royals in the last 10 years have kept a rather low profile and with the marriage of William and Kate and Albert and Charlene there has been a great amount of press.

The picture showed William and Kate as regular people. Not the protocol based behavior that is so familiar.

What I am most hopeful for now is that with all this attention on Kate that there will be a return to style. The outfits worn by the Duchess are classy and modern. She is covered but not matronly.

Yesterday, I found a fun website. http://www.duchessofcambridgestyle.com/
Great fun website to take a look if your looking for a classy fashion idea.

Jury of your peers

Yesterday, outrage over the verdict.Blame, anger, tears, disgust everywhere you went on the internet or TV.

People are upset that a child is dead without anyone being held accountable.

A jury of her peers. That is amusing, peers, from Merriam-Webster.com (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/peer) "one that is of equal standing with another : equal; especially : one belonging to the same societal group especially based on age, grade, or status" .

Not sure we don't need to change that word, peer. But think about this, people that push, shove and trample other people to get into the store on black Friday to get the best deals, these are my peers? Those that stood in line for a ticket to get into this trial, those that fought each other for their place in line to get the tickets, these are my peers? Those that watch a helpless girl get beaten by a group of people without calling the police, these are my peers? The people standing in front of the families house, watching as if this family were zoo creatures, these are my peers?The lawyers that were in the bar across the street jumping up and down over a victory that leaves a childs death unanswered, these are my peers?

People are now saying she'll make millions from book and movie deals, interviews and licensing of the images. You know what - she can only make those millions if we buy and if we watch. So dont! Let her pass into history without another word.

Sadly, those people probably are correct. People are obsessed and they will buy and these are my peers?

To be a member of a civilized society we must each be civilized.

Wimbledon - Tradition vs "fuddy duddy"

Watching the news this week you might have heard a story or two of Wimbledon.

Tradition is very important in English society, Wimbledon included. In the linked article there are two interesting paragraphs toward the end, indicating tradition is important but technology has been embraced.

Tradition and technology do not have to be mutually exclusive. They can compliment each other. We don't have to throw away tradition to be modern, incorporating the best from the past with the best of now. Tennis whites with ball following technology is a great example.

As for the press on the ladies tennis outfits. I don't have a problem with the outfits for personal experession, but at what cost to tradition? Then the question of, Why? What are you trying to prove? I think it's a good conversation of our modern society, the good of the one being more important then the many. This also applies to this crazy grunting trend. Trying to get into the mind of our opponent? Guess what, gig is up we all know the trick!

Let's not throw out tradition with out great consideration, once it's gone it is gone and is there something better replacing it?



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/tennis/wimbledon/8589772/Wimbledon-2011-grunting-tennis-players-are-spoiling-the-game.html

Change can be good

There are a lot of elegant women out there and I think it would be good to hear from them.

The comments settings of this blog have been enabled. This blog will be so much full with the input of elegant women.

Let's start talking.

Women in business

Why did I post this picture? This is one of my most favorite pictures. I took it at the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle. Look carefully, do you see the flowers on the drafting table? Yup, that is a female drafter in 1927!

What sparked this post? Morning Joe. Arianna Huffington was on and they were talking about Mika's new book. The best comment comes from Donny Deutsch. I have the link below. Start at 3:43 and listen to Donny.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036789/#43265193

Mr. Deutsch makes the comment that *gasp* men and women are different and when in the work place why not embrace the differences? Now, no one is saying to flirt or dress sexy but men and women are different.

There have been books upon books about women in business, feminism, women liberation etc.. There is no way I can cover this in one blog posting.

Women's liberation is not true liberation if we need to 'act' like men while in the office.

Here is another shocker, we are not all equal. Women's equality is a misnomer. All we should really want is equality in opportunity because as Mr. Deutsch said we are not equal. Women are not equal with each other nor are we equal to men. We are all individuals and we all have skills beyond the person beside us but that person beside us has skills we wont have or develop.

Being in a male dominated business, I found most of the issue came from women. For some unknown reason women are harder on other women then most men. Could it be other women make most women feel insecure, they are prettier, smarter, or got the promotion we thought was ours? Like I said earlier I cant conquer this topic in one blog post.

Just remember, being a women in the business world isn't a handicap!

How do you eat pizza?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2011/05/31/2011-05-31_sarah_palin_donald_trump_split_a_pepperoni_pizza_at_famous_famiglia_in_times_squ.html

Looking at this picture nothing looks really out of place. Two famous people eating pizza in NYC. Look closer - a scandal has erupted! A grave sin was committed.

Mr.Donald Trump, a NYC'er to the core, or so we thought, is eating his pizza, WITH A FORK! How will he ever live this scandal down? This was so horrible that Mr. Trump actually issued a statement.

I think this is just so funny. And in these gray times, when the only news we hear are politicians denigrating themselves and each others, mother's being charged with the death of the dear baby and the recession. By now, the only double dip I want to hear about is at the ice cream shop. So, this "story" just brought a smile.

In reality, I eat my pizza with a fork and knife and *gasp* I was born in NY - just the other side. Here is another *gasp*, they eat pizza in Italy with silverware (plastic ware).

When I saw the picture I figured, "Heck, why take a chance of getting pizza on your custom suit or who needs pizza cheese slapping them on the chin". In reality, Donald Trump couldn't get it right if he tried. If he ate the pizza like a NY'er you'd be all "Yuck, did he wash his hands?" or "That is just not classy". Oh well.

John Stewart was so funny. I thought his staff was going to need to call for medical attention by the time he was done with his tirade. I was laughing so hard watching Mr. Stewart I thought I might need medical attention - here is a link from the LA Times. Enjoy.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2011/06/about-late-last-night-jon-stewart-slams-donald-trump-for-eating-pizza-with-a-fork-video.html

End of an Era

Yesterday Yahoo had a news story about the closing of the Sahara casino.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110515/lf_afp/useconomytourismgambling#mwpphu-container

The end of an era. We do look back on our history fondly, in some cases ideally. In this time we live looking on a thing in an idealistic manner might not be a bad thing. Why can't we keep the good from the past and add it in with the good of our time. There were bad things in old Vegas, in our history. But there is also good in both. Sadly, a lot of the bad things in our current culture are brought up us by us ie greed and self-absorption.

I think Las Vegas is an anthropologists dream. Think about the last 70 years and how Las Vegas has changed. It is a microcosm of our culture.

At one point it was cool to be in Las Vegas and the vices, now that cool is dangerous. Can you imagine someone telling anyone in the Rat Pack "Sorry sir, but you can't smoke here". Now no one can be cool anymore because that means someone has to be uncool. Everyone needs to be on the same playing field. I am wondering when the Oscars and Tony's or any award shows that are out there will be 'banned' because,"Really isn't there good in all movies? Why single out one as the best, that isn't fair?"

Las Vegas was a destination for a certain type of people looking for a certain type of experience. Due to greed and the death of unique it is now all things to all people, kind of. Is there a small, customer oriented casino that is clean, glamorous, stylish, cool? I only see mega casinos, or casino that have beyond their prime. Yes, the Sahara by all accounts was past its prime, but do we have to do away with all the history of Las Vegas? According to the news, most women are getting work done - can't we work on our buildings?

Reading the messages posted by readers we are really missing something in our modern culture. We are missing class, style, panache! We have been Walmartized. We are free to choice and we choice plain and average and accept the same in our lives and services.

Whatever happened getting dressed for dinner? Caring what you looking like to other people? How about a casino that is based on profits of happy customers and not just getting the most people it can get thru the doors? That statement is so against true capitalism, but I was hoping that in the last few years we might have learned something about greed and capitalism unbounded by intelligence, morals and integrity.

Grab a cocktail,take a seat,savor the time and remember the good.

Kentucky Derby

Did you do something fun for the Derby? I did. I have pic's on Facebook.

Which hat did I wear? - I wore 3! Why not have a hat change. I did wear my favorite hat that was the picture in the previous post.

Most fabulous website

http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/

This is a great website I found last week. Never think that there is an age limit to being amazing!

Kentucky Derby

Saturday is the Kentucky Derby.

For those that aren't southerners or never lived in the south especially in Kentucky it might be "Big Deal". Now, I went to school in Kentucky. I moved there when I was 19 and stayed for 6 years (no, it didn't take me 6 years to get thru school, in fact read the previous post, I'm still in school). I've never made it to Churchill Downs but I have been to Keeneland and I love the turf race. There is nothing like the noise and the feeling of being at a race track. I was up on "millionaire's row" and down in the center of everything. There is something in the air, an excitement. But when those horses go, the best 2 minutes in sports and they are not kidding.

The Derby is America's answer to the pomp and circumstance that we saw at the royal wedding. This is the royalty of horse racing.

Living in Seattle means I have to throw my own party or go to Emerald Downs. I am opting for throwing my own party. White linens for the table, pink and red roses, my version of Derby Pie (yes, it is trade marked) and of course hats! (thank goodness I have no idea how to make burgoo). Mint Julep's, we can't forget them, are an art form that I am must to intimidated, being a northern by birth, even though the former distiller of Makers Mark told me the recipe.

If you go to my Facebook page I have a hats album and it's open for everyone.

Earth Day

As a women getting her MBA in sustainability I should be all all about earth day started in 1970. To tell the truth, I think it's been commercialized.

My comments on earth day:

Recycle

Buy green but BUY LESS!

Dressing your age

Public transport offers interesting people watching today was a doozy.

This lady was in front of me walking to the train. She had beautiful legs, sheer black nylons and classic low black heels. Her legs were not the first thing I noticed. Sadly,it was her gate, her stride, her walk. It was overtly manly, not a bit of gracefulness.

Then she started to run for the elevator(that still has me baffled at that move). As she started running her heals they started dragging on the ground. I'll do a post later on the horrid noise women make walking in heals, but that's later.

The rest of the outfit, well let me say this there is vintage and there is frugal but if you still can wear the same dress you bought at Fashion Bug 30 years ago - DON'T. It was not good quality to start with and now that your almost 50, it's not age appropriate.

This women looked over 50. Her hair style was early 80's and so was the dress. She obviously was interested in her appearance but she had gotten stuck in a time warp.

Dressing vintage is hard enough not to look like a cartoon character. Looking classic and timeless. I'm trying to think hard what was classic and timeless in the 1970's and 1980's. There were things but those decades were fun, hippie and over the top. Maybe in another 10 years well be able to look at those eras and find pieces like we are now with the 1960's.

We may fall in love with a decade and it's style but just as we mature as people our wardrobe must reflect that maturing. Not getting old but maturing, refining, I think is a better word, yes: I am not maturing I am refining!

With all of that one thing it was good to see someone with an interesting personal style.

I just don't understand

The office building I am in has more the 5,000 people in it. I get to see female executives, lawyers and secretaries. The trend I don't understand is expensive handbags and cheap clothing. Do they think the handbag, fake or real, makes the clothing look better? (The whole idea of fake anything will be covered at a different time.)

Today, I was going up the escalator and the woman in front of me were not dressed in any way that was elegant. The pants, I currently am on a skirt kick I just don't think pants look good on women unless they are tailored and wide-legged, that aside, the material of the pants was cheap, the cut - unflattering. The one was carrying a Louis Vuitton handbag, I didn't look hard enough to see if it was real, but it looked so out of place. Especially since this women also had stringy hair that hadn't been attended to in a while, ie. washing. Not to pick on this women, she is just an example that I see all the time. I've actually seen it the opposite. A women with tailor clothing, beautiful hair and nails very much attention to detail except for her shoes and or her purse.

Think about the overall look. That expensive handbag looked out of place. The friend with that women had the same type of outfit but her handbag was a cute artistic bag. It looked correct with outfit the overall casual look.

We've heard the advice of mixing real jewelry with costume jewelry, you can combine expensive clothing with cheaper clothing for a great outfit. But only one great piece can't carry the whole outfit.

We can't be 'on' all the time. There are days we might be less motivated to make a complete look ( except those are the days something happens you wish you spent the time) but carrying an expensive bag isn't 'fooling' anyone. It looks more like a teenager who is borrowing her mother's bag.

Another thing I can't figure out is the west coast obsession with Coach. I have two coach bags. I like them they are leather, one red and one pink. What I don't understand are the ones with the logo all over it. Do you have to announce you are carrying a Coach - "look at me"? I know the style is created by the company but if they didn't sell the company would stop production on that style.

The whole point of personal style is - personal. Not "the lady carrying the Coach bag" because that is all they can remember of you. You should be more memorable than just your handbag.

Sen. Charles Schumer

It seems that I have take on men as often as I do women for their bad behavior. Or at least male politians. Are we not teaching our sons how to behave like a productive member of society?

Michael Berry is very upset about the comments made by the Senator. How do you feel about them? Have you heard his comments?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42620683/ns/local_news-houston_tx/

New York has been awarded a space shuttle and Houston has not. Personnal I was stunned, Houston is the only natural location, in my mind.

To have the Senator come out with these comments. Then again, Michael Berry has called for a boycott of all things New York. Should the whole state of New York be punished for the words of one man? Any intelligent person who wears the childish comment from the Senator realized he made a backside of himself. Didn't we learn anything from "Freedom Fries"? Or do we all wish to make butts of ourselves?

Senator the best part of valor is not to 'rub their noses in it". Senator, when people think of NASA, they don't think of New York.

Numbers

What's your dress size? Am I not to ask that? Did I hit a sensitive spot?

How much to do weight? Another question I shouldn't be asking?

How much did you spend on that?

What was your GPA? Any clue what you IQ might be?

Out of all those numbers which one would be a better indicator of an interesting person? A well rounded person? Someone I might like to get to know?

Would you be a nicer person if you lost 5, 10, 20 lbs?

We are obsessed with numbers.

I am more than my numbers, much more.

Scarfs

We've all been told a scarf adds panache.

I think the image of Mika Brzezinski shows there is more then just adding a scarf.

We all have misses. Having it pointed out is painful and embrassing especailly since I think we all know when we have a miss. To bad we dont come to that realization till about an hour after getting to our final destination. And even if no one says anything to us we just cant wait to get home and change the look and make a note never to do that look again.

There isn't anything wrong with Mika's look,for a start but it just is not finished. It actually looks like she forgot to take off her coat scarf. After watching Mika for a while, she can add scarfs with flare. This look could be finish with a fancy or simple tie effect or a pin that wont distract.

Reviewing looks of others can help us in creating a finished look.

If you like her look, then that is a look you like and carry it with pride.

Weddings

Wedding season is coming upon us. Something has happened to weddings. Stealing a line from Clark Howard: "It’s not a coronation". You are not competing with Catherine Middleton, you can’t.

Memories, that is what is important. Money isn't needed to make great memories. Your wedding needs to be as elegant as you. It is not a competition as to who can have the most elaborate dinner, the flashiest dress, the largest wedding party. Be balanced and reasonable. This is the start of your life together, being thousands of dollars in debt for a wedding is hardly a good start. The ring, nowadays is a status symbol, the bigger the better. Some say even say two month's salary. Then the honeymoon. Where would you rather spend the most money? How about when you get home to a house with no or old furniture. There is a lot to think about for sure.

Dresses

My mother wanted to wear her mother's wedding dress. Isn't this a beautiful dress? Blue velvet! It is an amazing dress from 1932. My mother was not the same size as the dress so what did she do, she got married in a blue satin. She got a little bit of flack from people saying "OH you must wear white!" Let me assure all the puritans out there, as the first born child I was 2 years, 2 months and 364 days after their wedding. My grandmother in blue, her first child was 8 years later.

Our cultural tradition is not white for weddings. It’s only in the last 70 years. Then for some reason our culture likes everyone to do the same thing. It must make those who are insecure more secure to tell others what to do and have them follow.

Reese Witherspoon just married and she wore a pink dress not a white one. HELLO, she was married before. White, when it was thrust upon us was to signify purity. Now, it's an obligatory color. What color was Laura Ingalls Wilder's wedding dress? Black. What was her engagement ring? A garnet with a pearl on either side.
Doing what you like is important. If this is your day, then it should be your day. It should be dignified, elegant and respectful.

Cake Smashing

I've been to enough weddings where 'fun' was the other goal. Fun, drinking till the bride fell off the chair and couldn't get up. Oh yea that was fun. I was laughing so hard I almost fell of my chair. Oh wait that was the maid of honor and she did fall of the chair. I left my chair shortly afterwards, heading for the door. At another wedding, the groom kept kicking his brides train out of the way. What a catch.
I must admit the whole cake thing is a huge problem with me. One of the first things you're going to do is smash cake into your loved ones face? That much stress planning the wedding? My cousin did the whole cake thing perfectly. I remember when the cake was served to them people were actually chanting to smash the cake. They picked up the cake and went to feed each other, and proceed right past the face of each other and smashed the cake into the best man and maid of honor's face. If you must partake in this 'custom', this was pretty good. Granted most best men and maids of honor are family so that isn't so loving or kind either. I was at one wedding where the bride and groom actually feed each other with a fork.

There are so many points to be made, whole books have been published. I am not interested in doing more with wedding elegance. I am much more interesting in everyday elegance.

A wedding is a special event for all involved. Approach the even with elegance in mind you’ll be fine.

Posture Matters - My Experience

Today is one of those days. You feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. To add to that, the great hair day I had suffered catastrophic failure due to weather conditions.

Looking in the mirror in the bathroom, it took until 2pm to figure out why the outfit wasn't looking correct. It's a new shirt and when I tried it on in the store it was fabulous, or I wouldn't have purchase it. But now it looks like a potato sack with a satin detail. I tried to readjust it, thought maybe the jacket I had on was causing the issue. Then it hit me, DUH Astor, It's not the shirt it's you! Now, that might not be the best thing to hear when you not in the best of moods but it actually made me laugh. DUH is right. I felt like the world was on my shoulders and my posture showed it. When I stood with good posture, a "miracle", the shirt magically transformed into this "fab" Tahari find.

Point being, I felt bad so I looked bad. By standing up with confidence and elegance everything looked 100% better. Well, not everything, my posture had no effect on the hair. Glad I have a hat to wear home.

My new favorite word

Sprezzatura


"The rehearsed spontaneity, studied carelessness, and well-practiced naturalness that underlies persuasive discourse"

Etymology:
Coined by Baldassare Castiglione in The Book of the Courtier (1528): "[T]o avoid affectation in every way possible . . . and (to pronounce a new word perhaps) to practice in all things a certain Sprezzatura [nonchalance], so as to conceal all art and make whatever is done or said appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it."

From: http://grammar.about.com/od/rs/g/sprezzatura.htm

Not synonyms but they are see also - glamor and style

Great word - if you look around the internet there are quiet a few different takes on this word and how you can apply it into your life. Some pages, to be honest had me contemplating a wish that I could push the one writing the page from a high window in my building or at least from my head, because of how hard and studied you needed to be to achieve true and great sprezzatura.

That is why I write Elegance: Redefined, Elegance isn't heavy, you shouldn't feel that you'll never achieve it. It is a work in progress,fun work in progress. Remember those diets we all tried; no this, no that, no this, no that. After a week all you could do was think of the horrific things you could inflict on the writer of the book.

I think the greatest point of the definition is: "To Avoid Affectation in every way possible..."

Great another look at dictionary.com

Affectation: "an effort to appear to have a quality not really or fully possessed; the pretense of actual possession:"

So we have "fake it till you make it" vs. "never let them see you sweat".

When you start on the road to elegance there are times you'll be acting in an affectatious way, but as you go it will become your nature, Sprezzatura.

The Beautiful Dame Elizabeth Taylor

What can you say about Elizabeth Taylor?

I've been thinking what I could say but there is just so much to say about Ms. Taylor, but my words can not do her justice. I'll just let these pictures do the 'talking'.












This is an amazing picture, it's not been touched-up. You can see her scar from her tracheotomy. What a strong women, how many times was she near death and survived? How's that for having Tiger Blood Charlie?

She can not be replaced and we shouldn't ever think of comparing another women to her.

Business, cells phones and dinner

Business travel can be dull and uneventful, defiantly not glamorous. Sure it would be if I had a personal assistant to pack and unpack for me, a driver to get me to the hottest places in town. But I am not a rock start or a Rockefeller, so travel is what it is.

Yesterday was different and very pleasant. I had two tour guides. A client and her BF offered to show me the town. I considered it and even asked if it would be appropriate. After getting the go ahead from my firm, I had a most enjoyable evening.

There was one thing, other than the extreme kindness, that I noticed. These people are both high up in the company, VP and director. But, never once did either of them excuse themselves from the dinner table to take a phone call. I now the BF got at least 3 calls during the evening. He let them go to vmail. That was stunning to me. It would have been fine with me if he had excused himself and took the calls but he and my client spent the evening with me. They gave up their evening to show me their city. They made me feel that I was the most important event at that time. Now, that is one classy couple.

A Place For Proper Attire

I had to go to court earlier this week. As a citizen, it was my right, and duty, to go even thought it was a waste of my time. I got up early in the morning. Showered and got all dressed up in very nice attire. Traveled for an hour to the courthouse on the opposite side of the county.

I walked into the court room and sat down. I was one of the first ones there. I observed the prosecuting attorney in a nice pant suit with make up well done. After a while, a lawyer came in and sat down. Though not a full matching suit, he was dressed with what I think is proper attire for the building that he was in.

As the time for the morning session to start, people started to file in. The attire that I observed was deplorable! Anything from dirty sneakers and ripped jeans to hats on sideways (which were removed to the judges demand for three different people). Is this really respect for the officials and to the building that these people are in?

Quite frankly, I felt rather uncomfortable sitting there in my suit in the court of law.

Later at home I observed on the news video of people going into job fair. And strangely, these people were better dressed than those pleading there case in court for child custody, traffic tickets and fraud. I understand that you want to impress a potential employer in this economy with how you look since many times you are judged immediately visually, than verbally.

I have also observed this undignified attire for those going to church. Yes, your god may know who you are as a spiritual person. Why not show this outwardly. Not just roll out of bed into pants that are conveniently on the floor. Let alone these flannel PJ looking bottoms. Show to us that you respect the places you are in!

What's the deal here? Is this not out of respect in a court of law, job opportunity or place of worship to be well dress? I understand that you may not be able to afford a suit. Have good looking chinos and a button up shirt. They are not expensive. At the very least, jeans that have no holes and properly belted and a shirt tucked in. Even the prisoners that were led in were better dressed in there city blue jumpsuits or county orange jumpsuits.

Is not being elegant part of properly and respectfully dressing for the occasion?

A tale of two shows

Who is more elegant Larry the Cable Guy or Real Housewife of Miami the publisher of Venue magazine).

My vote it Larry the Cable Guy!

WHAT!? I think I heard the collective gasp!

I was wondering how I would blog about Larry the cable guy. He has a new show 'Made in America". I was very impressed that he actually went to Emily Post's institute or headquarters.He met with her family. He is a comedian but he didn't belittle them or manners. He made fun of himself. I was very impressed that he hasn't made fun of anyone during his show at any of the places that he visited. To see him dealing with manners and a makeover - imagine jeans and a shirt with sleeves. He was, as always, Larry the comedian. Emily Post's family were very gracious to Larry, they were kind and laughed at his jokes. They seemed to me to be stuffy, but that might happen to anyone sharing a screen with Larry they would come off 'dull' or stuffy.

A comment I heard on the next show sent me into orbit. I was so incensed. Brooks had to warn me not to type so hard,( I was using Brooks' computer! ) to write my notes for the blog. RHoM (Real Housewives of Miami) is that latest offering of the franchise from Bravo.

The publisher of Venue had the.. (I cant even think of the appropriate word that wouldn't make me sound like a sailor...)to call her readers "lower people" OMG! This "lady" if it wasn't for the "lower people" reading and spending their hard earned money you wouldn't have any a magazine. I am so upset to hear this women make that comment how horrible, just how horrible. Listen lady, you need to kiss the feet of these "lower people" because they are the reason you have this "high life". But that comment honey is forever. Unless you do something to prove that isn't the real you, you will forever be that sick women!

This women is less than a women and less elegant then Larry the Cable Guy. I bet you couldn't even figure out how he is a better human being then you. Why, because he doesn't see "lower people" he is better than I am right now. You sicken me - "lower people". How are they lower? You produce a magazine to show them they life that they will never have, that you wouldn't let them into if they weren't wearing the 'it' designer. He would never say that about anyone. He has a sense of humor of who he is, but on his show he's never said something horrid as Alexa. He might look like a field hand but he understands people, graciousness and kindness. He wouldn't judge people based on having money or not having money.Money doesn't really matter, let's remember though, Larry is a millionaire.


The above two paragraphs we composed in the heat of the moment. I would like edit them, but I can't. I feel this deeply. Women and ladies would never say what Alexa did about a group of people. Especially since those people are who have given you the life you lead. Could she have misspoken. Yes, we can give her that benefit of the doubt. I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt but I am having such a hard time doing that.

Could it be?

Is it possible that the First Lady of France had a fashion miss?
What do you think?

Thanks to coco perez for the first posting
http://cocoperez.com/2011-03-04-carla-bruni-sarkozy-style-france-state-dinner-with-south-africa-president?from=PHheadline

Three Cheers for Holly Madison

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/02/holly-madison-unretouched_n_830198.html

More women need to take a stand like Holly. She cares for herself and her look but we are more then any numbers other people put on us. Being comfortable with yourself is the first step to confidence which is the foundation to elegance.

Can you see the "extra" 15 lbs? She looks great.

Aging

I was watching Joe in the Morning on MSNBC. The only reason I think I torture myself by doing this is to get my blood boiling to get me up and out of bed.

They had Sarah Brokaw on promoting her new book "Foutytude: Making the Next Decades the Best Years of Your life -- through 40s, 50s and Beyond". PHEW, Now that is a title.

You would think that from Mika Brzezinski after you hit forty, your life is over. Such a simpleton. It's easy to blame your age for the fact you didn't get the promotion. It's easy to blame your age that you're not getting the looks you did when you were 26. It's just too easy and too limiting.

Not getting the looks or attention you did at 26? Have you taken a long hard look in the mirror? Sorry, but crocs aren't sexy and neither is nagging. Worry about your life, let others live theirs. Your life needs your attention right about now.

Lets analyze this, you didn't get the promotion and the younger women did. How much new education do you have? Did you have the feeling of entitlement? Are you hard to get along with? Are you angry? Mika, that is aimed directly at you. People dont want to be around angry, entitled women who have 'let themselves go" and no Mika I don't think you've let yourself go.

It's much harder to look at yourself, to take hold of your life and move forward then it is to blame your age or that everyone around you is ageist.

You think the younger women got the promotion because she is young and beautiful. It might be that way. So, what are you going to do? Look for a better job? Start your own business? Go and get more education? Get a makeover? Look inside yourself and that hurts. Bitter ugly women don't succeed. Life isn't fair. But you are in control of your life or you should be.

Some women I see that are turning 40, they have lost themselves. They spent so much time at their job and raising the family that they forgot they were human and not machines. When life starts settling down around 40ish they can take a breath and they look around and they ask 'what happened to my life, this isn't what I thought it would be. Look at me - I'm old" and now they are super sensitive to being 40 something.

The biggest issue is you. You listen the culture and let the culture tell you how to behave. You let yourself go. You settled into a life - you didn't make a life. It's you, but that is the hardest point. YOU

The most amazing women I know are over 40. They are fabulous. Some are mothers and business owners other are in entertainment. But they work at being themselves. They see its their life and they are going to live their life not someone else life. Women in the 20's might be nice to look at, but try holding a conversation. They arn't fully baked yet. They have interesting view points, I'm not belittling them and we need young women in our lives for a full life experience.

Ask most women over 40 would they want to 26 again? No, being older has its benefits.

Don't limit yourself. Age is a number not an indicator of vitality. Youthfulness is a mindset not a number.

Go into your closet get that pencil skirt, those heels, get your mascara and your lipstick on, now walk with your shoulders back head high -fake it till you make it. You want attention that will get you attention, especially if trip going up the stairs - no really, men like to look at pretty things, just like women like to look at pretty things so why not be a pretty thing. Show the world you care about you just as you care about the world. Give the world something pretty to look at, give it some color from the grey drab world we live in.

40, is not the end, it's not the beginning, thank God, I dont want to do it all over again, I like my experiences but I want more so "Here's to Life!"

You are in control and it's a process not a destination.

Brand of Elegance

I think that is the whole process. Your brand of elegance. We all have an idea of what elegance is and who has it and who we admire for having 'it'. "It" now has a term. The IT factor is YOUR brand of elegance. It's not something that should be defined by anyone but celebrated by everyone when we see. Give a coy smile to the other women on the street who is exhibiting her brand of elegance.

It's like when I lived in a small town in the southern United States, every time we passed another car we'd wave. When I moved to a larger town in the same state, every time we passed another Jeep Wrangler we'd do the Jeep wave.

Let's do the same with every elegant women or man we pass, let's give a coy smile of acceptance and knowledge.

BTW, yes I still own a Jeep Wrangler and you should see the men stop and watch as I get in and out of my doorless, topless Jeep Wrangler in a shift dress and high heels. There is my brand of elegance, turning convention on its head!

Curly Hair

Why is it we always want what we dont have?

I have curly hair, not tight curls but I can get very nice ringlets.

But for years, hair that has been beaten into submission with flat irons and chemicals has been all the rage.

Lately, I've seen more and more curled hair and that makes me happy.

So, today I ditched the straight hair (and the blow dryer for a matter of fact) put in the conditioner, finger rolled the curls and went on with my day. I did have to wear my MAC Viva Glam A88 (RED) for fun. But the whole look is fun. I have a great 1920's hair cut, with a modern flair. I've finally found the best hair stylest. And I love the curls. Do they look professional? That is up for debate, but with the short hair it sure is fun.

Ponderable ...

"We eat with our eyes" from Anne Burrell on her Food-TV show "Secrets of a Restaurant Chef".

This got me thinking. In fact the comment was more along the line of "If it looks great, we think it will taste great".

So, if we were a plate of food would we 1. Only look good, with no good flavor 2.Taste great (good personality) but not that attractive 3. The whole package

It's only human to judge with our eyes. There are things we can not or should not change. The challenge is to find your best features, accentuate the positive and minimize the not so positive.

Great, Wonderful - A must read!

kandee the make-up artist: No power to the Haters!: "'is this hater worth giving away my happiness to them?'....NO WAY!On Youtube, yesterday one of my 'due date' videos got featured on the home..."

5 things to know when visiting Seattle

After the holidays our minds now wander to summer vacation. If you were thinking about visiting Seattle there are 5 things you should know.

1. Obey the crosswalk signal. That is the quickest way for us to tell who the tourist are. Plus, you can get ticketed. Welcome to Seattle.

2. If your driving the metroplex, don't use your horn, you'll scare the locals. Seattlites are very nice, if not a bit absent minded, drivers.

3. We don't want to hear about the weather. We know it's raining and we know you're surprised when its sunny and beautiful. This is called the emerald city and not because were grow moss.

4. If it is 'wet', umbrella's really arn't necessary unless it's raining. Drizzle is not rain.

5. Seattlites aren't 'cold' by nature. They are simply coming off their caffeine high.

Extra, when packing think about layers. The first weekend after I moved to Seattle, in April, I had 4 seasons of weather in one day. Yes, rain, snow, hail, sun and muggy.

Dumbest Article for 2010

Dumbest Article of 2010

http://shine.yahoo.com/event/vitality/11-mistakes-women-make-in-middle-age-2432402/

Before we start this is a very long post - more then 1,000 words.

This is my nomination of the dumbest article in regards to women's elegance. In all actuality it is a very mean article - almost like it was written by a girl afraid of ageing. This article is not empowering to women. The tone of the article is more like 'I am tired of looking at all you 'old' frumpy women, would you do something about it?"

First, Ashley Macha, if the internet is correct, is a 20 something writing about something she knows nothing about and her world of middle aged roll models is probably limited. Plus, referencing one book, one author is lazy journalism. Ms. Macha it seems you didn't like this assignment.

Before we start, I am not a middle aged women. I am also not in my 20's and I am thankful that I am not 20. It takes a girl, till she is in her 30's before she has come into the idea of who she is, no longer being pushed and pulled. Sadly, there are a lot of 50 year old girls running around the world.

Yes, there is a difference between a women and a girl and the difference is maturity and that is only gained with time and experience.

There were only two issues that I practically agreed with Ms. Macha: 1. Women don't have to cut their hair off at a specific age. At any age a women's hair should be of a good cut and color and flattering to the face. 2. Cosmetic surgery, at one time it was called plastic surgery and for a reason. Women at any age need to take care of their skin. Cosmetic surgery can make a women not look natural and even make her look worse because you know she has had work done.

Within the first paragraph "Getting older is a drag, and middle age is particularly fraught with tension". Are you kidding me? Getting older is not a drag, reading articles written by girls is a drag. "Fraught with tension", most women over 40 are very happy with their age. They know who they are and what they want, or they should.

Next, "aging often requires change, but most women don’t want to move to a frumpy town called Middle Age...". If you don't change then are not maturing. Ms. Macha, I know a lot 20 something's that have lived their whole life in "Frumpy Town", because they wear whatever they want even though it is not body flattering but it is what they are told to wear in a magazine without a sense of who they are, how they look to others and are only interested in "comfort".

"Few people look as attractive in middle age as they did in their younger years" This one set me off. It made me angry and few things make me angry. I looked better than I did in my 20's. Hey, Ashley! every hear the saying "God gave you the face you had at 20, you've earned the face you have a 40"? Women look so much better in their 30's and later then in the 20's. In the 30's they have something interesting to look at. Looking at a Barbie is fine for a few moments, but a women with age, not only is her face beautiful but she has experience and an air of mystery. Hum, wonder why we've had the conversation of cougars? I would never compare myself now, with my 20 something self. I am much more interesting. I am stronger, more stable, elegant, and lovely. I am proud of my achievements from all of my hard work. I see a picture of myself in my 20's I remember how unsure I was, scared of most everything. I look at 'me' and am happy I had enough sense to work hard and strive to be better at everything. Not thinking that the 20's are the best time of my life and it will be all downhill from 30 on ward.

"The rest of us need to invest in clothing that’s a bit more, well, constructed" DUH! Every elegant women understands that you need to invest in looking good. Only those who in their 20's dressed from frumpy town have to be told this. A women knows what flatters her shape and is not at the mercy and whim of Madison ave.. Trendy pieces added to good quality, well made make a women unforgettable.

The next few points made in the article are valid, but mean, she is talking down to the reader. "Don't do this" is written a lot. Plus, the words "what worked in your 20's and 30's", like 'haven't you looked at yourself in a mirror of the past 20 years" or to give her the benefit of the doubt Ashley, "you've been so busy taking care of bratty child like me you've let yourself go and I am embarrassed to be seen in the mall with you.

"Settling for a boring sex life
Our culture tends to sell the message that young equals sexy, but you don’t have to buy into it.

You should have the confidence and freedom to dress and feel as sexy as you want to, and explore your sexual needs as well." ARGH there is so much wrong with this I just can't handle even addressing this horrible entry - other then - What kind of repressed women do you know? BTW, elegant women understand great sex is great for their complexion - love that glow.
The very last point in the article fits with my post "DUH". Wearing the wrong bra. Ashley, that applies to ALL WOMEN past puberty. I don't like seeing some women in the wrong bra or going without a bra. Remember, lingerie is worn to make you feel wonderful and feminine.

After all this - women are like wine. No really. Most wine is good after some ageing and some wine cannot stand up to ageing that will make other wines even more stunning.