I think that is the whole process. Your brand of elegance. We all have an idea of what elegance is and who has it and who we admire for having 'it'. "It" now has a term. The IT factor is YOUR brand of elegance. It's not something that should be defined by anyone but celebrated by everyone when we see. Give a coy smile to the other women on the street who is exhibiting her brand of elegance.
It's like when I lived in a small town in the southern United States, every time we passed another car we'd wave. When I moved to a larger town in the same state, every time we passed another Jeep Wrangler we'd do the Jeep wave.
Let's do the same with every elegant women or man we pass, let's give a coy smile of acceptance and knowledge.
BTW, yes I still own a Jeep Wrangler and you should see the men stop and watch as I get in and out of my doorless, topless Jeep Wrangler in a shift dress and high heels. There is my brand of elegance, turning convention on its head!