Fun read

http://www.npr.org/tablet/#story/?url=/2011/11/18/142174351/mrs-stambergs-relish-goes-to-washington

This was a great segment to listen to. I laughed thru mist of the interview, I'd hate to hear what other drivers were saying a the crazy laughing lady in the car beside them.

It will make a great read and maybe a new family tradition.

I think I'll try making this this weekend.

Pippa Middleton "'She's sweet but Pippa isn't wife material': What Alex Loudon's frightfully grand family say..."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2060844/Pippa-Middleton-dumped-Alex-Loudon-His-family-says-isnt-wife-material.html


When I heard this story on the Today show, I had to go looking for the article.

I might have bruised my jaw when it hit the floor from being so appalled!

When you read the article it is understandable that all of the celebrity that has been built up around her could be so off putting as to call it quits. Not many relationships have lasted in that kind of glare.

From the Today show the comment was made his family is a 'blue blood' and are discrete. Not sure what the family expected, their son was dating the sister-in-law to the future King of England. Well, her sister was dating the future King of England.

They obviously have royal connections without Pippa but I cannot help but think, she was good enough until the spot light, now she isn't discreet? Not her fault, they may have thought the red dress was to risque, I might agree, and didn't want the press but Pippa's personality is what I think is the issue. She is vivacious, fun with a zest for life. Other reports but Alex at the opposite end of the fun spectrum.

I am sure the family is super upset that their true feelings have been splashed all over the newspapers. Seems someone in their inner circle is less than discreet.

Then again, what does "frightfully grand" mean?

Pippa seems to be the least of their worries. Can someone say "damage control"?

I am confused, then again, I am not English, titled or a blue blood.

Rewarding Bad Behavior

Screaming, yelling, punching, kicking and getting falling down drunk, reality TV in a nutshell.

Yup, I’m a hater! I hate scrambling for my remote when something obnoxious, if not borderline criminal, comes up on my screen. I wouldn’t have people like this as my friends; I am certainly not inviting them into my home for 48 minutes each week.

I do watch reality TV or how else could I know what’s going, my life would be so empty. No, it wouldn’t; seriously, I do have other things in my life that really do matter(like finding a job).

So, why bother even writing the post.

Talking with most adults, they understand this behavior is unacceptable, and those perpetrating these actions are more court jesters than respected members of society. Here comes a hater comment, they are making a fabulous amount of money being fools. You have to ask yourself, what would I do for that kind of money? I also hope these people are not as foolish as they are being portrayed and have a good financial planner.

As adults, we have the skill set to look at this behavior and know it’s out of bounds. Children on the other had have not yet developed as a person, they may like these people as role models. They see this behavior as powerful, when we see it as sad.

As adults we do have a responsibility to younger people. Show them by your behavior what is acceptable, mannered, upstanding and hopefully fun and enjoyable. Give them a good in touch role model.

Reality TV isn’t going away but we have the power, called a remote.

New Start - Day 2

It's been a while since I've posted. It was difficult for me to find the balance of work and personal life.

The balance has been given to me. My job position was eliminated on Friday. A complete shock. But I couldn't find the balance. I couldn't find me in the job. As odd as that sounds. Even though people are saying "Its for the best". It still does not help the feeling:


It really does make you examine your life, your decisions. I've had to work hard to get where I am. I now am looking at why, why did I work so hard to get, nowhere. Right now I look at the jobs available and I start looking at myself. The last two jobs (both of which had my position eliminated in the last 3 years) really were not a fit. They were what I thought I wanted. I really thought I wanted to work in the corporate world. I was so happy to have landed a job in one of the largest firms in the world. When that job went away, I thought what I really liked to do. I liked teaching and I know this specific software. So when I saw this teaching job come up, I was excited. But as the months went along, the joy was quickly replaced with anxiety. I never did a good enough job. Not that I didn't do a good job but it was always stated "How could you do it better". After a few months of that, you really become demoralized.

Now, I have free time, all the time in the world. Yesterday, out went 10 resumes. Funny that hits my quota for 3 weeks with unemployment insurance. All 10 are in my field in which I am educated, but the question now is do I really want to stay in this field. That is the same question I asked a year and a half ago. I found the new job in 5 months, which I thought was great. I was kind of out of the field, into a new direction of teaching.

Now, I am left with the same question. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? The only answer is live my life!

You know I've done most of the things in my life to have people like me. What a fool! Now, dont get me wrong, it is nice to have friends, people liking you. But now for me its more important that I like myself, that I find a job that I can be myself and like the job. In the corporate world my personality is not taken positively, I think. I do my job, but I have a sense of humor to me. I find the humor in most things and I cant stand grandstanding and people hypocrisy's and office politics, I cant play that game. People who try to make themselves something they are not irritate me. Sadly, that is corporate. Make people think you are something you are not. I've seen people let go that are great workers but they were not friends with the boss. They weren't good schmoozers.

This job got to me. I tried so hard to fit. I stressed myself so much I ended up wearing a heart monitor and having an MRI. I remember laying the in MRI machine and I was so mad at myself to have let a job get me so stressed that I was 'killing' myself. Really, I thought I had had a heart attack, actually two before I went to the doctor and found out it was just me and my stress. I knew I needed to change something.

What irks me is I needed to change something. To have someone else make the decision for you is what has me the most angry. Someone else is playing with my life. Bosses have control over your livelihood, so maybe its about time I go back and take control and run my own business. I did it 4 years ago for the eight years prior and was successful with it, I can do it again.

This is only day 2, there are a lot of feeling to go through.

I now have time to got through an edit all of the posts I wrote while traveling to work or for work.

There is a schedule to my day. And today I think I will have a cup of coffee on the patio and enjoy the beautiful sun.

Be careful what you offer

I started this blog for various reasons. One was my own upbringing. I have one of those " aunts". She knew every etiquette rule but never understood love, compassion, or elegance. I remember setting the dinning room table for dinner with a ruler. Imagine the stress when we had company for dinner.

Well, she is at it again.

My mother is flying from Houston to Philadelphia. She has not seen her sister in four years. She told my mother that she could stay with my aunts oldest son. That was until three days before she was to fly out. Imagine this, there isn't room and to top it off there isn't any time to spend with her.

My aunt offered something that was not hers to offer, her son's house. That is being presumptuous. Not elegant. To compound the situation her son had other plans.

The part that makes my blood boil, they haven't seen my mother for four years and yet they can not make time to see her? It's not like they have not had a months notice that she was coming to visit.

I do not have a close family and I was so angry at my aunt for her behavior I was going to call her and give her a piece of my mind, hopefully a piece I didn't need. Thankfully a piece of my brain did work, I remembered I dont have her phone number.

I removed myself from her life years ago. I saw the kind of person she was. She was only ever interested in appearance. There didn't need to be substance if there was appearance. She would act like the family had money. Great meals when we had guests, living in the most prominent neighborhoods,wearing the best clothing, new cars, you get the point. It looked good from the outside,except when it was only the family. Dinner at her house(we were never guests) was canned soup and sandwiches, one piece of cheese, one slice of ham, half leaf of lettuce, I am not kidding. The clothing, secondhand (the only thing I learned that was beneficial).

This may read as a rant and it is, but it also has some great points about elegance.

I needed to remove the "ugly" from my life to find my elegance.

If you offer something to someone make sure your not overstepping your bounds. Never say " oh she doesn't care", they may very much care. Think of their feelings, at this point just be respectful and ask. Kids are really bad at this, "what ever my parents have is mine" they hit up the closet and the bank account.

My aunt overstepping her bounds inconveniencing her son and hurting her sister, sadly she wont care nor will she learn. My friends think it's funny, I'll call before stopping, I will ask if something fits their schedule. One friend got annoyed, " just stop in" but I explained I was being respectful and I had no desire to stop in just as she was getting out of the shower!

So this afternoon, the daughter was the friend with the "shoulder" to cry on. Yes I would love to call my aunt, but it would be futile. In your life there are people like that. There is a scripture in the bible that comes to mind, not casting your pearls before swine. People with animal behavior will not learn by your example, they arnt looking for it. They a fine with themselves it's the world that has a problem and self improvement is for the weak.

Elegance is refinement, ongoing refinement.

Vacation

It's been a long time since I posted. I was on vacation. Not that I haven't written anything, I just haven't edited them.

Vacation was long overdue. I haven't taken a vacation in three years. I've taken long weekends but nothing longer then three days.

That is one thing I do regret, for the good of my mental health, is not taking a vacation earlier. The world we live in does make it hard for some families to take the needed time away for the sake of clearing your mind. Either you are unemployed or so worried if you take a vacation your job will be on the line. But in hindsight taking the vacation can clear your mind, putting things into perspective.

It was a good time away. A time to look at my daily life from the outside. To make plans for my future.

The saddest thing is coming home and within a week the stress level is back to what it was before hand. I do have the memories to reflect on when things get over the top. The plans made now are the things that are directing my life or at least I try to have them lead my life. What is the most irritating is when my daily current life gets in the way of the life I am trying to create.

That is why my posts are still not edited, my current life is getting in the way of my planned life. Time to get in control, I'll let you know how that goes. Arn't we all dealing with that?

9 11 Never Forget

This is the third time I've written this post.

I've ruminated all week about what to post. My cousin working at the site and putting the dust from his boots into a Ziploc bag and taking it back to site because for him the dust meant some one's loved one? or How our world has changed?

Then it came to me, I needed something personal. The vow I made that day and how it directly relates to this blog.

That day was one of the most beautiful mornings I could remember. Ever since then a day that is even close to the beauty of that morning makes my stomach flip.

That day went from the most amazing morning, sitting on my patio enjoying the weather and my coffee, to frantically calling looking my firefighter cousin (he wasn't even in NYC that day).

As the days went on, the stories of the lives cut short, their dreams, the dreams of their families never to be realized. Within that week I made a vow. I would never take for granted my life, a day in my life, my family or friends. I would make my life mean something. I would find the beauty in each day. I would find the love and share the love. There was just to much hate in the world. Hate in our lives.

Truthfully, that vow, at times has created tension in my life. Trying to live up to that with the reality of the 'mundane' in everyday life. As the days go on I've have created a balance.

Beauty and Love, that is foundation of this blog. Finding the beauty each day, adding beauty each day. Loving yourself with your 'flaws' and sharing that love. We are so negative on ourselves and that translates to others.

The best way to commemorate those that never finished their journey, is for us to follow our journey with zeal and gusto. They have added an extra level of meaning to all of our lives.

Let's never take for granted anything that is amazing in life.

"...protection to the looks-challenged?"

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/28/opinion/sunday/ugly-you-may-have-a-case.html?_r=1&scp=5&sq=law+professor&st=nyt

I really could not believe this story was real. I figured some news service picked up on an old "joke" of Rush Limbaugh's.

My chin is now bruised from when it dropped and hit my desk when I found the URL.

There are some many things wrong with this story, so many.

The first is, what are we, animals? Have we not 'evolved' past this point? I guess according to scientist's the logical thinking brain is non-existent in the business world.
"Oh wait, this might not be a the best train of thought with the state of business currently." Anyway....

Secondly, beauty is subjective, very dependent on culture. Who's base line are you going to use? In reality most 'ugly' people can do a lot to make themselves appear average, if not delightful. Hollywood has gone both ways. TV shows to make the ugly to average look amazing, and in movies the actress is made to look ugly.

Thirdly, doesn't taking care of how you look hahave a bearing on how you look and are perceived? A confident women that is labeled by the "dudes" of this writer's ilk as average can have men's attention because she knows how to play up her positive and detract from the negative. She is confident, dresses to her body type and can hold an intelligent and enjoyable conversation. Compare that with the model that walks in, won't talk to people or can't hold a conversation, won't smile, is self absorbed and looks totally bored? The model will attract her like kind. You can paint up plain and ugly to amazing. But amazing looks can't be painted to smart.

Fourth, the only kind of beauty if physical?

Fifth, are my tax dollars really paying for this?

Lastly"", ...with the chance of obtaining extra pay and promotions amounting to $230,000...", they would allow themselves to be classified as ugly. NO, that is called GREED and having your self-worth tagged with a dollar amount. Plus, to make this law suit work the 'ugly' person would have to prove they were 'ugly' and someone in the company would have to admit that they are shallow and limited in their views to proceed with the law suit. No one is a winner at this point.

Yes, being good looking helps, to a point! I've watched interviews were the female architects were equally qualified and the physically prettier one was hired. She was no was no beauty to work with, though. I've also heard department heads say that certain engineers were not to go to clients because of how they looked. Funny the attractive ones were sent, messed up the job and cost the company money!
Maybe with those two anecdotes I actually prove the writers thesis and we are base line animals.

The last paragraph is very insightful: "You might reasonably disagree and argue for protecting all deserving groups. Either way, you shouldn’t be surprised to see the United States heading toward this new legal frontier". This is what we've dropped to? Labeling hence limiting people? Have these people not learned anything? People will achieve to the level you set for them.

If the writer himself is physically ugly or not, I find him hideous to be perpetrating this discussion on the wrong pathway.

20 things I would tell my teenage self

If only she would listen:

1. You can not please everyone, make everyone happy nor make everyone like you, DON'T even try.

2. Other people will have their own thoughts and views, you do not have to make these yours.

3. Learn to take care of yourself not only physically but emotionally.

4. You will work at jobs you hate and you will survive. Just make sure there is more to your life then your career.

5. The worst pain you feel right now will go away and even worse pain will come, Sorry that is life. But the good gets better and the pain becomes less .

6. Just because you value something doesn't mean anyone else will. Hold those things you value close.

7. Laugh, most things in life really are funny, at least to other people, or thru the window of time. So laugh now.

8. Enjoy life and dance often!

9. Find beauty everywhere and add to it.

10. Be nice. It's free and it makes you feel good.

11. You'll change and that is fine. What you want at 20 might not be what you want at 30 and when you achieve it at 35 you'll need something new

12. Play up the good and down play the bad - every women is beautiful it's if she knows it and takes care of it.

13. Work as hard on the inside as you do on the outside.

14. Walk! Don't run to the next journey. You don't want to arrive tired and you need to enjoy the scenery to grow as a person

15. Never stop growing, exploring or playing

16. Be able to be alone

17.Don't let anyone take your dignity by losing control of your emotions. You can get angry but not without thought.

18. Your are prettier than you think, but don't let that go to your head. Nothing can make you look uglier quicker than being haughty.

19. Money is only paper. You control it not the other way around. And it will NOT make you happy

20. Confidence makes any outfit - Fabulous

Extra: You're not perfect! but still pretty damn good. Go for it girl You know what's best for you so don't second guess!

Congress Vs. RHWoNY

Did you ever think that those two institutions would ever be compared?

Yesterday, I woke up to the news that American's credit rating had been downgraded from AAA to AA+. What? The budget was passed and the debt ceiling was raised. The reason, from what I heard from MSNBC, the rating was lowered because of the inability of those in the government to get thru this without all of the bickering. Lowering the rating because of those of in power acting like the women we see on the reunion of RHWoNY (Real Housewives of New York).

Sadly, I have to admit to watching, on demand, part two of the reunion. Sadly? Yes, I saw part one and it was like watching 15 year old girls fighting over the cute guy in class, and to think I went back for more. Did I want to see the train wreck? What does it say about me, going back for more? Did I want to see a kind resolution? Actually, I was hoping for a better outcome. Reflecting on the episode, I should have turned it off when my stomach started to churn, about half way thru.

What is so sad, you could simply replace the the women of RHWoNY with those in Congress. Put the Democrates on one side and the Republicans on the other side. The outcome would be the same.

To think these people are held up in our society and they seem to be unable to be civilized. The people in Congress are there to run the country and yet they are unable to even control their behavior. The women are held up for the money they have and the celebrity that they have been able to achieve thru the TV show, but money cant buy you....

Bravo, Andy Cohen I suggest you expand the fanchises to the Real Congressional Members of Washington DC (RCMoWDC). Why dont?

Both groups deny their actions, blame others, and call each other names. Sadly, RCMoWDC effects everyone in this country. RHWoNY effects their reputations and makes it look ok to act like children.

These two groups were and maybe still are held up as the 'elite' of this country. That is the problem. A title shouldn't given to you just because, you should be given the title for what you do (a nod to Thomas Jefferson and his desire for a meritocracy).

What have these two groups actually accomplished? How have they made this a better place to live?

The silver lining New York Times/CBS News poll show 82% of American's disapprove of how Congress is going their job. Sadly, Bravo gets it's highest rates on these reunion shows but thankfully we can laugh, roll our eyes and even turn the channel on the RHWoNYC.

Looking at them as examples we can learn a lot, a lot of how not to behave.