Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Wedding season is coming upon us. Something has happened to weddings. Stealing a line from Clark Howard: "It’s not a coronation". You are not competing with Catherine Middleton, you can’t.
Memories, that is what is important. Money isn't needed to make great memories. Your wedding needs to be as elegant as you. It is not a competition as to who can have the most elaborate dinner, the flashiest dress, the largest wedding party. Be balanced and reasonable. This is the start of your life together, being thousands of dollars in debt for a wedding is hardly a good start. The ring, nowadays is a status symbol, the bigger the better. Some say even say two month's salary. Then the honeymoon. Where would you rather spend the most money? How about when you get home to a house with no or old furniture. There is a lot to think about for sure.
My mother wanted to wear her mother's wedding dress. Isn't this a beautiful dress? Blue velvet! It is an amazing dress from 1932. My mother was not the same size as the dress so what did she do, she got married in a blue satin. She got a little bit of flack from people saying "OH you must wear white!" Let me assure all the puritans out there, as the first born child I was 2 years, 2 months and 364 days after their wedding. My grandmother in blue, her first child was 8 years later.
Our cultural tradition is not white for weddings. It’s only in the last 70 years. Then for some reason our culture likes everyone to do the same thing. It must make those who are insecure more secure to tell others what to do and have them follow.
Reese Witherspoon just married and she wore a pink dress not a white one. HELLO, she was married before. White, when it was thrust upon us was to signify purity. Now, it's an obligatory color. What color was Laura Ingalls Wilder's wedding dress? Black. What was her engagement ring? A garnet with a pearl on either side.
Doing what you like is important. If this is your day, then it should be your day. It should be dignified, elegant and respectful.
I've been to enough weddings where 'fun' was the other goal. Fun, drinking till the bride fell off the chair and couldn't get up. Oh yea that was fun. I was laughing so hard I almost fell of my chair. Oh wait that was the maid of honor and she did fall of the chair. I left my chair shortly afterwards, heading for the door. At another wedding, the groom kept kicking his brides train out of the way. What a catch.
I must admit the whole cake thing is a huge problem with me. One of the first things you're going to do is smash cake into your loved ones face? That much stress planning the wedding? My cousin did the whole cake thing perfectly. I remember when the cake was served to them people were actually chanting to smash the cake. They picked up the cake and went to feed each other, and proceed right past the face of each other and smashed the cake into the best man and maid of honor's face. If you must partake in this 'custom', this was pretty good. Granted most best men and maids of honor are family so that isn't so loving or kind either. I was at one wedding where the bride and groom actually feed each other with a fork.
There are so many points to be made, whole books have been published. I am not interested in doing more with wedding elegance. I am much more interesting in everyday elegance.
A wedding is a special event for all involved. Approach the even with elegance in mind you’ll be fine.