Thursday, March 18, 2010

Watch who you trust

Ms. Hunter,

All I can say is DUH!

Really?! Why did you pose that way? You trusted the photographer. Fine. But you haven't learned anything over the years. If you dont want a picture published then dont pose for the picture. "No photo control", but you do have control over yourself and your image.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Way to go Brooks

Brooks' post is a clear example of etiquette vs. elegance in our fast moving world.
These women were certainly old enough to know proper etiquette. I am positive they would tell you about wearing white gloves to church and never wearing white shoes after labor day and the importance of hand written thank-you cards, which fork or spoon to use, etc, etc, etc.. But these women couldn't figure out the simplest idea that there are people around you that have as much a right to a quiet conversation with their table mates as you have to answer you phone and talk with your friend.
Plus, what is it with people? They have a normal voice when talking to the person beside them but when they answer the phone their voice turns into an overactive 4 year old's? Etiquette is rules, elegance is behavior.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Cell phone conversation sharing?

So, here is my first post and this is a post that needs to be done, in my humble opinion. What I am about to write, is it ettiquete, common courtesy, or what-not?

Here is the scenario. Astor and I are at the local coffee/bake shop enjoying a non-typical morning. We got drinks and decided to sit down to partake of these refreshing drinks. Looking around, I notice other people also enjoying the bright and sunny morning that it was with their coffee, tea or other refreshing drink with nibbles of their choice. Here was a father and daughter chatting away, three older ladies talking away, catching up on their lives, soccor mom's and dad's with uniformed players preparing for sportsman competition. In the background, the cheery chatter of employee and patron interaction, the light sound of jazz playing for ambiance and sun shining brightly through windows clear of any and all dirt.

Then, it happens. A cell phone rings. Now, this is not the issue. Most people will answer these devices that many of us now consider as part of our daily lives in a timely manner. That is not the issue as this phone was answered. But, here this phone rings at the table with these older ladies and the conversation can be heard not only by our table, which was next to these ladies, but also beyond. Why? This conversation with the caller was placed on speaker phone. This conversation was carried on as if a fourth acquaintance had joined the table of these three ladies. Though, as some people in the mind would logically conclude that a call on speaker phone needs to have the volume of their voice raised, this added to the electronic voice emminating from this cherry red electronic doo-hicky.

Is this proper? Is this really needed for all to also have this disruption of cheery background noise of this establishement and music resonating from the speakers? No, I should say not. I am sure that many of the patrons did not enter for a pick-me-up and hope that they too can catch up on the latest gossip of these ladies. OMG!

Should this be a part of ettiquette for those that have cell phones to limit this type of conversation? I have my personal opinion about this and it say do not allow it. Though, as understanding what ettiquette is about, it is not about me or you. Rather that of a concern for others around you. I am sure these ladies are at this liquid and bake emporium to also partake in the ambiance that others also entered to do. Ladies, for your age, I wish you too had the refienement to have that respect for others.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Little Black Dress

The little black dress shows that the definition of what is stylish and elegant does change over time. Coco Chanel is to thank for this change. The little black dress, little black suit are staples in most women’s closets. The L.B.D. has caused some issues in finishing off the look, specifically nylons. Nylons have been the bain of my existence. It was not until I was older and found back-seam, garter less, thigh-highs that I could bear to wear them. The late Princess Diana was know for going bare legged, you would have thought it was going to cause a international incident. I loved it. I remember the picture on the day her divorce was finalized. That beautiful L.B.D., amazing necklace and her beautiful smile and oh my the bare legs. If she had put on shear black nylons that look would have been ruined. Balance, is what I am talking about. Her arms were bare, and to have bare or bare looking legs kept you eyes following. Your eyes weren’t drawn to one portion of her outfit, the whole outfit was one display. To have bare arms and covered legs you eyes are drawn to the dark color. If you want to wear nylons go with the nude color, this will keep the extremities all in the same hue. Now, look at the pic to the right side in this blog you might say “ Well look at that black dress and black nylons, she just broke this rule”. One, this isn’t a rule just a comment. Two, there was one word in this paragraph that makes a huge difference - Shear. The nylons in the picture are as dark as the dress and shoes. Keeping the eye moving and not stopping at some different color. Then the final finish are the gloves and beret.

Black shear nylons with the black suit is different. In the suit your arms are covered, so covering the legs with black nylons looks just fine. Even nude nylons looks fine with the black suit. Your not drawing the eyes to a shocking color. Oddly enough dark black nylons with black suit could make it look much to Macomb.


Black has become the color to hide in. Black is supposed to draw the eye to the eye away from what is covered in black and to the lighter color. But when you all in black (dress and shear nylons), and you have a large section of two colors (your arms vs. your legs) it is shocking to the eye. Plus, if your sleeveless the thought is that it is warm enough to not need to cover your legs. Its like combining winter and summer in one outfit. To see it on the red carpet, a beautiful black dress with a slit to the high part of the thigh only to reveal shear black nylons. Ouch, that hurt my eyes. That was it for me. I was tired of seeing a small amount of women taking on this look. The modern look of boots with L.B.D. is exactly that, a modern take on it. But when I’ve seen women with this look its for a more casual event, and they are not wearing black shear nylons. The boots are dark in color just like the dress.

Keep your L.B.D.’s clean and balanced and it will be amazing.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Mrs. Obama has great arms but ...

Mrs. Obama is know for her sculpted arms.

Her inaugural gown was beautiful and showed off her great arms. But her posture was distracting. Mrs. Obama is tall for a women, and it looks like she is uncomfortable with that height by her posture. I can imagine she would be uncomfortable with her height, but her shoulders roll forward.

You can stand very straight but the shoulders need to be addressed in any good posture. Drawing your shoulder blades together is the first step to get the shoulders out of that rounded look. Its a simple exercise but to remember to do it and make it a habit and then your regular look will take effort and time.

When you have your shoulders in the correct position along with posture you look more elegant. Just putting on an amazing dress is the first start. With a beautiful dress like Mrs. Obama's you would also do you hair, make-up, pick the perfect shoes, handbag and wrap, but dont forget the posture. How straight is the spine? Is the hip bone in line with the ankles when standing? Are the should blades back (remember "chest out")? The neck, are the ears in line with the shoulders and the head isn't jutting out? Stand with you heals against the wall, your shoulders, elbows and back of the head should all have contact with the wall.

Posture is the one of the pieces of elegance that doesn't cost anything.

So, here we are redefining elegance, the first lady in an interview wearing a sleeveless shirt. For years that would be considered a 'no-no'. So what does Mrs. Obama have in common with the female news anchor on Fox news? The sleeveless shirts. For years sleeveless shirts / dresses were considered either for formal wear or for casual summer wear. Now you see the first lady doing an interview in one and the Fox news anchors, with a snow storm going on behind them, wearing sleeveless shirts. Is this style business like? Our world is changing fast, and what is acceptable is changing also.

For a long time and actually even now, fashion experts will tell women to put a jacket or sweater over the sleeveless shirt when your in a business environment. I would like to agree with this. Mrs. Obama on vacation or working in the garden in the summer show off those arms or at an evening formal. But during interviews and daytime events please dress more business like. The same goes to the female Fox reporters. We all know that female journelist on TV have to be attractive, but Fox takes it to a new level. They have intelligent and smart women, that for some reason, dress unprofessional. Low cut shirts, sleeveless shirts (seeing that during the NYC snow storm was funny and inappropriate) and mini skirts are common attire for these women and I've never been able to figure out why so overtly skimpy clothing on such intelligent women on a 'conservative' news channel. But times are changing, I guess its ok for the sleeveless fashion to occur as long as the men dont pick it up as acceptable fashion during work.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Seattle, Don't outsource our safety

In my zeal and anger, my post as a few factual errors.
The first error was there were 3 not 2 "security"guards. Second, these workers are employed not by the city but by a private agency. Third, the 2.7 billion dollar shortfall is not Seattle but the state of Washington.
Now that I fixed those errors my point still stands. 3 adults could or were told not to step in and help a young girl. How do these people sleep? Behavior as displayed by the security guards and the friends of the people charged with theft are poster children for what has gone wrong in our society. Friends of the attackers or alleged attackers claim we dont know the whole story. I dont need to know the whole story. This was a cowardly attack, multiples on one! Then to continue the beating when she was down shows no moral character. So I dont need to know the rest of the story what I saw is enough. What did this girl do that could be so horrible to beat like that. She insulted your ego?
I am mad, very mad at this behavior. Seattle now has police officers in the tunnel. In the mean time we who take public transport have to be fearful with the knowledge that if some punk takes a liking to our watch or bag or phone, we have no helper in the security guards or other passangers. Things dont mean anything, give them what they want, but we still must be concerned if this thug for his jollies will now commence on beating us. There is a much bigger problem that has presented itself - safety. Robberies happen but beating after wards, the security guards we placed there for a reason but they were left impotent by the mandates of the company that hired them.
Seattle save the some money FIRE that company, HIRE trained police officers. How about cadets for the state police? These minimum wage jobs are not effective. No one in their right mind would step in as their job to risk their life. People risk their lives to help others because they are great people you cant pay for greatness but you can pay for complacency.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Step Up

I love Seattle. So when watching the news yesterday I see a story about a beating in the bus tunnel. I don't like riding the bus in Seattle. Every time I have ridden the bus it was frightening. I know of someone who reported a disturbance on the bus and the driver made my friend who reported the disturbance get off the bus. The person causing the disturbance was a metro worker. Well, now the city has another problem with city workers.

These "security" guards stood and watched as a young girl was beaten to the ground then had her head stomped. What did these workers do? Noticed I called then workers because their behavior was inhuman. These workers WATCHED the beating. To be fair the one worker, after at least three kicks to the girls head walked over and told her to stop. Oh big deal.

The majority of people in Seattle are kind and wonderful people, this is not the general behavior. This is a sub culture. The scary thing is this sub culture now seems to have people working in the metro.

Fights have always happened remember "West Side Story"? The difference now are the camera's and a 24 hour news cycle.

These workers, yes two of them, had the security vests on. What good is it to pay these people. Seattle has a 2.7 billion dollar budget problem, here's an idea, their job is just symbolic so who needs metro security. Extreme yes, but those two workers, showed what kind people they are and as a citizen I don't want to pay people salaries that wont help another person when they are "civil servants".

Something is wrong with Seattle Metro, my friend reported the bus driver to the metro for his improper behavior and just like the "security" guards, customer service did nothing. Yes with the budget short fall - lets take a look at the metro and see how many people we really need and how much money we can save by getting rid of those non-workers.

Kindness, Loneliness and "Haters" in society

You will notice that I have added a link to a URL. This is a blog that I follow. I found Kandee on YouTube. Today I watched her video entitled "This is NOT a video about makeup". It really touched me. She makes a point about people, you can ask people to say 10 negative things about someone and they have no problem doing that, but ask them to say 10 nice things about that same person and they will have trouble.

We have so many stresses in our lives simply with getting everything done we need to in the time available. Now, we who are trying to live our life to our best, have to deal with people commonly know as "haters". We all can think of other adjectives to call these people. But they take more from us then they are due. They take our time and they take our confidence, they take our happiness and even if it is for a short time it is time they are not due. How do to deal with these viruses, no clue, really no clue. With the Internet we cant hide. They post to YouTube, they send emails, etc..
No matter what we say to ourselves to work through the mud they throw at those who are being productive in society we still have to clean off that mud.

The only thing we can do is to make a vow never to join in that behavior. That also means that if we know of someone who is a "hater" and is spewing their vomit on others put an end to it. If that person if your friend reconsider quickly if you want to keep them as a friend. Someday you will irritate them and they will throw their trash your way.

These "haters" cause damage, sometimes irretrievable damage, even death. They must not be allowed to remain in your world.

Empathy, that is what we must have. Empathy for the people who are innocent of everything except that this person thinks they are better and more important then everyone else and especially the one they are tormenting. If we don't say or do anything to stop these people we are guilty of complicity. We can not control the behavior of others, but we can make it know that their behavior is sick and something we want nothing to with. Yes, their venom can turn on you and it will take strength and integrity but you are helping in keeping this contagion limited.

The best case scenario is that the good people leave these "haters" to each other and then they can turn on each other.

The most ironic portion of this is" haters" think everyone hates them because they think they are so wonderful, but in reality we don't hate the "haters" we hate their behavior. On YouTube the "haters" we identified and it was suggested to give them negative comments. You might feel that is the only recourse you have but that is what they expect and you know the comment that they will be making. These people don't like themselves anyway so adding fuel to that fire means they will only keep up. Fire needs oxygen and we cant give them any oxygen. What is the worst thing for a "hater"? Being ignored, isolated, the same thing they are trying to do to others. They like the audience. We all have much more important things to do like helping up someone "hit" by the trash of a "hater". Don't focus on the hater focus on the victim of the venom.

Kindness is what we need, kindness to ourselves, you are not stupid, fat or unlovable. You would never say that to anyone so why say it to yourself. The fact that you know you would never say it to another person shows that you are a kind, caring person and are currently in a situation that you don't feel supported. All things change.

We may be physically lonely in our fast pace world and "talking" to a computer isn't the same, but we do have that ability to reach out to people and be kind to them through our technology.

Be kind to all. You find a "hater" just turn and walk the other way they should have no portion of your time and life.

This sounds simple, and when being harassed by "haters" this post really does sound simple. You may understand that your not alone and that everyone is not against you, but the unparalleled weight in your heart wont go away. Support those in this situation, take action - legal, what ever it takes. Your life is to valuable to continue in this. Reach out for help, it will be there. Just ask.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Mani (cont.)

It seems Brooks did not like the last post. Brooks felt it was to long and that I missed the point. So, why doesn't Brooks post? To many projects, so its now up to me to take another shot at mani's.

Basically, its not the French Manicure, but it's when you have acrylic nails that are not formed beautifully or have not been maintained and are to long. The color or design isn't so much the point.

We had seen a women sitting near us this weekend and Brooks and I had the conversation about her manicure. She had acrylic nails that were so built up and not formed they almost looked more like eagles talons. The white section of the manicure looked wider then the natural finger and longer then the nail bed. You could also see that she hadn't been to salon in weeks because of the nail growth. People do notice these things. Having your nails manicured shouldn't draw attention to your hands it should be a compliment to your hands.

Brooks - I hope that this post is more precise and to your liking.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Mani Pedi

Manicures and Pedicures have been popular for at least the last 15 years. Your hand are visible to everyone, taking care of your nails on you hands and feet is good style. In the summer, showing the toes is just going to be your everyday fashion. Do you have to go to the spa to take care of your hands and feet.? No and it doesn't have to be that expensive, you can do this maintenance at home.

There are a lot of fun colors for your nails or there is the natural manicure. So, what is up with the French Manicure? It looks like your trying to combine natural nails with showing off your manicure. I have seen women with tasteful French Manicure's, but there are some with the nails in an unnatural shape and the white is just not natural for any nail. Then this French Manicure has now taken hold on the toes. This is not a natural look, either. It looks pretentious. What statement are you trying to make with this nail effect? The oddest look is to see a women with her French Manicure on hands and toes, showing her style, but then the rest of her look belies the idea that she really cares how she looks.

Elegance is not to draw undue attention to yourself. Unduly long or unnaturally shaped nails draw attention to the nails as quickly as chipped polish on either hands or feet.